


Head-over-Heals

by thatweirdyeoja



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Comedy, Doctor/Patient, Drama, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Medical Professionals, Romance, Skateboarding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28429593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatweirdyeoja/pseuds/thatweirdyeoja
Summary: In which Lu Han is the accident-prone skater boy who isn’t particularly fond of Christmas festivities and Sehun is the annoying child whisperer very much determined to thaw his frozen heart just in time for the holidays a.k.a that one hunhan fic where Lu Han wants to wrap Sehun in thick rolls of medical gauze just to shut him up and they have snow globes and coffees and crayon conversations, elevator encounters, skateboards, and Starbucks stickers.TL;DR: Sehun and Lu Han’s cliché af love story unfolds inside the hospital emergency ward in the middle of December.
Relationships: Lu Han/Oh Sehun
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22
Collections: Jinglebellselu's Third Christmas





	1. Chapter 1

**I: We can leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January**

**This is our place, we make the rules**

* * *

The ever-frigid December breeze has just started to permeate the air.

Shops are starting to hustle to put up signs for winter sales, city parks are slowly being turned into trendy skating spots, and _Lu Han is yet again aggressively barging through the doors of Seoul National Hospital’s emergency room, face distorted into both pain and vexation_.

The frizzy-haired male lets out a huff before begrudgingly scanning the hall.

Today didn't seem to be particularly hectic.

No swarm of patients arriving nonstop and interns fretting up and about everywhere trying to tend to them.

The pungent smell of antiseptics irritates the hell out of his nostrils but _oh well_ , it’s not like his wounds and the nasty-looking cut on his forearm would magically heal by themselves now, would they? Especially if he continues to just stand there like a complete doofus, looking all pale-faced, grimy, and grumpy with one of his hands keeping steady pressure towards his mildly bleeding arm.

"Looking for someone?" Junmyeon sidles up to him with a suggestive grin.

Lu Han just rolled his eyes heavenwards at his friend a.k.a. his _roommate’s boyfriend_ who also just so happens to be Seoul National Hospital’s emergency room head nurse.

He brushes past the fair-skinned male and invites himself in, situating himself in one of the hospital beds as if it was a routine he had already memorized like the back of his hand.

As he starts to make himself comfortable, he hears faint sleigh bells and tambourines a good feet away from his spot and Lu Han had to crane his neck as fast as lightning to side-eye the person who was lying on the bed just one curtain away from his.

This time, it was a kid looking around the age of 10 or 12.

Lu Han raises a brow at the poor, curious-looking soul who had on his cheap-ass earphones and seemed to be having the time of his life bopping his head to Ariana Grande’s millenial version of ‘Last Christmas.’

The child looks up upon sensing he was being watched, whips his head to the side, and lets out a frightened squeak upon meeting Lu Han’s daunting eyes hidden beneath his bangs. _Darn. If only he could smash the brat’s iPod to pieces just so he can unhear the freaking song -_

"So... what happened this time?"

"Tch. What else, of course the usual," Lu Han had deadpanned, squinting his eyes as he rests his head on a pillow and looks up at the hospital’s bright ceiling lights. It didn’t help his sour mood that he caught a whiff of Junmyeon’s acerbic scent after said nurse sat by the bed, first-aid kit in tow. Lu Han concludes right then and there that he really will never be fit for a career in healthcare.

"Zitao, that _fucker_ … He suggested we should try out the stairs near the old neighborhood. You know, that one with a hundred steep steps and high railings? Where you and Yixing used to jog and flirt around during college years?" Junmyeon nods, smiling to himself as he recalled the days he still had loads of free time to go on casual dates with his boyfriend of five years.

Now, fast forward to even more years later, he’s practically swamped with work at the hospital, his boyfriend Yixing is busy losing his shit trying to find muse for his new music, and said boyfriend’s roommate Lu Han is yet again currently in front of him all dirtied and bruised as he lays on the hospital bed and throws his _nth_ bitch-fit for the week.

“Goodness, Junmyeon, the railings were practically covered in ice! Good thing I was already halfway down with my board when the slip happened or else it could’ve been worse, right? December sucks! Huang Zitao and his sappy love for Mariah Carey sucks, and I’m going to castrate that little shit later!” The nurse couldn’t do anything but listen to his friend’s rants.

It's not like advising Lu Han to stop with his skateboard hobbies at this point in time would change anything. He had already lived years of his life as a skater boy after all. The frizzy-haired male was practically in it for the thrill [and maybe _something else_ as well but then again that’s no longer Junmyeon’s business].

He inspects the other’s bloodied arm and frowns.

“Lu?” Junmyeon mutters, unsure how to break the news to the other who was clearly still pissed off. He raises Lu Han’s arm to catch his attention. “I think this one here will need stitches.”

Lu Han tensed at those words.

Junmyeon had always known how much Lu Han hates [read: _fears_ ] needles – no matter how stupid that may have even sounded because _let’s face it_ , Lu Han’s hobbies technically entailed risks of him having to get nasty cuts and injuries here and there. It was inevitable that one day he’d eventually need to get stitches.

"Stitch…?" Junmyeon nods. "But the previous ones didn't have to. _Sehu_ – I mean, that guy just disinfected and put gauze on them all the time and they all healed just fine... Why now..?"

"Well, that's because those were all just small scratches. But this one right here…” A grimace painted the nurse's face. "It's quite a huge laceration. It might get infected if we don't close it up. Do you want me to do it now? You don’t have to be scared, Lu, it’s just me."

The look on Lu Han’s face begged to differ, however.

For he had sat up with terrified eyes, unsure how to back out of treatment and walk out of the ER like the typical cool guy he's always been. Maybe Lu Han should just make a scene so that he'd be thrown out of there because _ohgodstitchessomeonehELp_ -

"Dr. Oh! You're here."

_Crap_.

He hears the familiar tap of squeaky shoes against the tiled hospital floor. Somehow, Lu Han knew this wasn't going to end well. Seriously… Why does this guy always seem to show up at the _most convenient_ of times?!

"Xiao Lu, welcome back!"

And then there it was.

That annoying smile ㅡ probably overused since the day Oh Sehun began scamming kids for injections.

Today, he was yet again clad in clothes not reflective of his status as a physician. He had on a dark green cashmere turtleneck topped with a brick red blazer, plain white pants, and a pair of hospital shoes. Had it not been for the obnoxiously purple stethoscope peeking out from his blazer’s pocket, Lu Han would’ve thought Oh Sehun was just a random fashion terrorist lounging around the hospital’s emergency room.

_‘Is he for real…? Red and green…?’_ Lu Han shudders. The color combination of Sehun’s clothes reminded him of something _eerily_ familiar. But the young doctor simply smiles at him unperturbed, eyes turning into cute crescents and of course Lu Han doesn’t reciprocate. He merely scoffed at the other's _sunshine-y_ demeanor and looked away.

"What happened this time, nurse Kim?"

"He's got a huge gash on his forearm. I think you should take a look. I already have the kit ready to stitch him up but Lu Han here has a bit of a problem...”

“Problem? What problem?”

Lu Han gives his friend a warning look.

Conflicted between Sehun’s curious gaze and Lu Han’s stubbornness, Junmyeon didn’t know whether he should assume his role as a friend, as a professional emergency head nurse, or possibly even as Cupid right at that very moment because _duh, the sexual tension between Sehun and his walking denial of a friend has been suffocating him for ages someone has to eventually cut it off!_

Thankfully, he didn’t have to deal any longer with his internal battles because Sehun easily caught onto what was going on.

The doctor smoothly shushes the troubled nurse with a knowing look, even patting him on the shoulder as if to say _‘I got this’_ before immediately going over to inspect Lu Han's wound. Sehun starts off first by tipping Lu Han’s chin, checking for scratches and bruises on the other’s face and even brushing his frizzy bangs away from his eyes.

And then he sees the cut on the other’s forearm.

" _Baby_... This looks pretty bad."

Red spreads across Lu Han’s face as he pulls away and scowls at Sehun.

"I’m not your _freaking_ baby!" The angry skater boy had hissed. Sehun then realized his little blunder but merely laughed it off. _‘Oh. Sorry, it’s a habit I got from talking to kids all the time.’_

"Whatever. Just hurry and give me some meds so I can get the hell out of here!"

"Meds?" Sehun frowned. "Meds won't be enough this time, _sweetcheeks_. You need stitches ASAP."

Again with the ‘sweetcheeks’ thing…

In which hemisphere of the brain did Oh Sehun even manage to pull out such an embarrassing pet name for him? Lu Han doesn’t even consider his own cheeks as one of his facial assets so how dare this shameless, ~~painfully handsome~~ child whisperer even have the audacity to say that with his whole chest and a stupid grin on his face…

" _Dr. Oh_ ," Lu Han chuckled sarcastically, pulling away from the young doctor's grasp. "Again, I advise you to please stop playing around because I don’t know how much longer I can prevent my fists from landing somewhere on your face. And no, I don't want stitches. Just give me some gauze and painkillers and I'll be fine by myself. In short, the usual stuff you’ve been doing ever since I began frequenting here. Do I make myself clear?"

Sehun only gave him a warm, impish smile.

What happened next was way too fast Lu Han didn't have enough time to react.

He only managed to let out a yelp before he found his face buried in the latter's clothed chest – _really, don’t bother asking why Sehun doesn’t wear his white coat because Lu Han honestly doesn’t know and isn’t interested to know_ and _oh, Sehun apparently smells like daisies with a hint of baby powder_ \- but wait _what the fuck is Kim Junmyeon trying to do is that a fucking syringe ohmygod - !?!?_

Luhan's scream got caught in his throat as he refused to expose his fear of injections within the emergency room. His arm was outstretched for Junmyeon to clean while the rest of his body was held securely in Sehun's embrace, the latter even patting his head comfortingly because Lu Han was trembling out of nervousness.

" _Shh_. It's okay, sweetcheeks. I know you're scared of needles,” whispered the young pediatrician, letting out soft cooing sounds that it almost seemed as if he was mocking Lu Han. "It'll be over before you know it. If you want, I can even kiss the pain away..?”

"How about you just shut up and stop talking to me this instant?" Sehun let out a soft chuckle at that. Well, at least Lu Han managed to curse him out. That only meant the diversion was working. However, he still couldn’t help but feel sorry for the skater boy when his eyes teared up as he felt the prick of the injection on his forearm.

Soon enough, Lu Han’s arm went numb and the whole time Junmyeon was stitching him up, Sehun had effectively kept him occupied and shielded his eyes from looking at entire procedure….

Being _occupied_ by Oh Sehun, however, also meant that the cheeky doctor basically used that exact opportunity to flirt with the helpless Lu Han in his arms.

“Xiao Lu, you are so well-behaved today. How about I treat you to dinner later as a reward?”

“Huh. You _wish_.”

“Oh? How did you know it’s one of my wishes for this Christmas? Are you going to grant it for me in advance?”

“Hell no! Junmyeon, will you please hurry up?!”

It was over in a matter of minutes and an angry [read: _internally screaming_ ] Lu Han could only grumble a 'thank you' underneath his breath as he abruptly stood up and tried to speed-walk his way out of the ER.

"Bye, sweetcheeks. I hope to see you again!"

Luhan scoffed. "See me again at the ER? You must really like seeing me hurt, don't you, Dr. Oh?"

"Of course not." Sehun then reaches for something in his pocket, tears it out of its package, and wraps it snug around an unwilling Lu Han’s index finger.

The skater boy blinked thrice to check whether it was real or not.

_One, two, three._

It was real.

Sehun really had just put on him a strawberry ring pop candy.

How dare _this bast_ -

"A reward," The doctor says cheekily, cutting Lu Han off from his murderous thoughts. "For being a good boy earlier while getting stitched up. You deserve it."

"You _assho_ -!"

"Language, Xiao Lu. And hear me out first," Sehun wagged his finger before holding up the skater boy’s hand with the ring and placing a light, sneaky kiss on the back of it. The other looked downright mortified as he pulled away with a _'gross, what the fuck you pervert!'_ look on his face.

"It's also a promise ring. The next time we see each other, I hope it won't be at the ER anymore so be careful and take extra care of yourself okay? Do it for me and for our future babies. And remember to keep warm these days as well. Winter is fast approaching."

Lu Han sputtered in shock at those words. "How about we never see each other again? And what future are you even talking about?! Get yourself checked, you wacko, you are delusional! I don’t like you at all!"

Sehun merely laughed at Lu Han’s antics before eventually getting called back inside for rounds. His words of _‘the dinner date offer still stands, in case you were wondering!’_ repeatedly echoed inside the other’s head that Lu Han couldn’t help but stomp his feet out of pure annoyance. Junmyeon simply watches his friend lose his shit over Sehun’s advances for the umpteenth time that month.

"Why is he even always at the ER?! Shouldn't he be at the pediatrics department 24 hours ‘round the clock because he’s well, I don’t know, _a damn pediatrician_?! What the hell is he even always lounging around here for?"

Junmyeon only laughs awkwardly at Lu Han’s angry banters as he tucks away the first-aid box. He wants to tell the other that there’s actually this thing called ‘rounds’ in hospitals hence why Sehun seems to look like he’s roaming around; but then that would only make the conversation longer and possibly even embarrass Lu Han as well.

And so, he ultimately decides against it but doesn’t forget to jot down today’s treatment fees to Lu Han’s lengthening list of overdue hospital bills.

“Tsk. I owe you this time again,” said Lu Han dejectedly, claiming to hate Sehun’s antics with a passion yet suckling absent-mindedly anyway on the candy perched on his finger. He rummages for something within the pockets of his cargo pants before placing a few crumpled bills on the counter.

“Thanks, Junmyeon. And I’m sorry too. I promise I’ll pay the rest of it soon. Who knows, I might even receive my paycheck and my holiday bonuses right before the 25th. Just tell me if things become too urgent in here or if your boss is starting to get suspicious. I’ll be down for you in no time!”

The fair-skinned nurse simply shook his head and smiled, knowing very well where to put his friend’s unpaid billing statements amidst the neat stack of color-coded folders inside the filing cabinet. His hands once more reach out for a familiar orange clipboard.

“See you around, Myeon! I promise I’ll be more careful next time!”

“Sure, Lu. Anytime.”

~~~~

And yet it wasn’t even a week later when the skater boy found himself angrily waltzing back into the emergency room – this time, with an injured Zitao in tow.

Not to mention, the hospital was starting to look a little too _homey_ , a little too _Christmas-y_ for Lu Han’s liking. The little garlands and wreaths placed in some corners of the building didn’t escape the scrutiny of his eagle eye. Lu Han frowns. He really dislikes the combination of red and green.

“Judging by how his test results came out, I think Mr. Huang here will be needing to celebrate his Christmas in the hospital,” the doctor, who weirdly had his hair in a man bun, reported monotonously before slipping in Zitao’s x-ray results inside a brown envelope.

Lu Han squints to check his nameplate: _Dr. Yifan Wu, Seoul National Hospital Orthopedic Surgery Department_. The guy was incredibly good-looking – that, Lu Han cannot deny – but that still doesn’t give Zitao the leeway to openly salivate in front of said professional.

“I’ll go ask the nurse to wheel in a chair for you so you can be transferred to a more appropriate room.”

Wait, wait, _room_?!

“Huh?!” Dr. Wu blinks back at Lu Han who suddenly squawked. “What do you mean room? We’re fine down here in the ER, I don’t understand?”

Zitao groaned. “Lu- _ge_ , he said I will be celebrating my Christmas _here_ in the hospital. Which means, I will be confined in here for roughly 2-3 weeks until my leg fully recovers.” Lu Han looked at the younger as if he had just said the most preposterous thing in the world.

He did not expect this at all. He thought Zitao’s case would just be another quick trip to the ER. That after fixing back in place probably a dislocated joint or two, they could afterwards go on their merry way and skate like their lives depended on it.

“2-3 weeks of confinement?” Lu Han exclaims. “I’m sorry but how much does it cost to get confined in here for one night? My friend and I aren’t exactly…” _‘rich,’_ was what Lu Han had wanted to add but decided to just keep mum because that conversation won’t really get them anywhere.

“I understand your worries but everything’s already been taken care of. All you have to do is follow me upstairs so I can get your friend here settled in his room.”

Lu Han appeared mystified. “Taken care of? By what?”

“You could say… it’s kind of a _Christmas bonus_ from the hospital.” It took Yifan a brief moment of contemplating, the doctor’s face contorting as if he had simply been roped into blurting out his alibi, before he immediately followed his words: _“_ I mean, it’s the season of giving after all so why not be a little generous, right?”

Lu Han’s brows creased suspiciously. However, he wasn’t able to press into the matter further because Zitao being Zitao and the usual hopeless sucker he is for anything that comes for _free_ , had already begun to turn his wheelchair around to trudge out of the ER. “Nice~ Merry Christmas and free hospital admission to me~”

As Lu Han trailed after his injured friend who, by the way, looked way too thrilled for someone who had just fractured his leg, the skater boy couldn’t help but internally ask himself: _What the hell was a Christmas bonus and since when was there ever such a thing like that in hospitals?_

Lu Han got so caught up with all the conspiracy theories swirling around his head that he almost didn’t catch the elevator let out a _ding!_ sound upon reaching the 5th floor. When the doors parted, the skater boy let out a shocked gasp.

_Too. Much. Twinkling. Lights. And. Splashes. Of. Red. And. Green._

As he wills his eyes away from the giant Christmas tree in the middle and the fake poinsettia leaves dangling from the ceiling, he discovers that the 5th floor was apparently separated into two areas as dictated by the sign plastered atop the nurse’s desk: the West wing was for the Orthopedic Department while the East wing was for the Pediatrics Department.

“ _Angry Bird_ -hyung!” a little boy with a casted arm comes scurrying towards Yifan with a grin on his face. “Are you busy? Wanna watch _Fwosty the Snowman_ again with Zhiyu?”

Yifan simply ruffles the kid’s hair. “Maybe later, champ. I’m currently tending to a patient.”

Upon the mention of the word, the kid assumed to be named Zhiyu darted his eyes towards the two skater boys. Oddly enough, Zitao found an uncanny resemblance between the little human and Lu Han. _‘Must be the eyes.’_

“New hyung?” Yifan nods. “What happened to his feet? _It looks ouchie and purpowl!_ ” Zhiyu exclaimed, cute little face scrunching into a grimace as he pointed at the awful-looking bruise on Zitao’s leg.

Yifan was obviously getting flustered by the child’s talkativeness at this point ( _he went into orthopedics and not pediatrics for a reason_ ); though he luckily didn’t have to wrack his brain any longer to get back to work because Zhiyu’s own parents did the job for him.

“ _Bàba_! Daddy!” the tyke squealed, running over to a tall male’s arms before being hoisted up. Lu Han notes that Zhiyu’s parents were both males – good-looking ones, at that – and he guesses that the one carrying Zhiyu was probably his ‘daddy’ while the one beaming at him by the sidelines was his ‘bàba’. The sight made him feel warm and lonely at the same time.

He kinda misses his parents back in Beijing.

Nevertheless, he tunes out the rest of the happy little family’s conversation ( _something about eating turkey for Christmas Eve, skating at the ice park, and whatnot_ ) as he begins to push Zitao’s wheelchair to follow after Dr. Wu. He takes them to the farthest end of the orthopedic department’s hallway and slides open the door to a private ward.

_Room 520._

Lu Han had already expected to be met with the repugnant smell of antiseptics and freshly laundered bedsheets.

He didn’t, however, expect the room to also be littered with Christmas decorations: a star-shaped lantern in the corner, garlands with multi-colored lights gracing the window frame, and a mini-Christmas tree by the bed stand.

Worst of all, there was a hideous-looking welcome banner pasted on the room’s wall, bearing the ominous words: ‘ _WELCOME TO SEOUL NATIONAL HOSPITAL, SWEETCHEEKS’ FRIEND HUANG ZITAO!_ **⊼⌔⊼’** in pink, bold Comic sans.

“That little shit,” Yifan complained, exhaustively massaging the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Go get yourselves settled in and wait for me to come back. I’ll just go talk to _him_.”

When Yifan mentioned ‘ _him_ ,’ it didn’t take a genius for Lu Han to figure out who is the culprit. It was pretty much obvious already. Only one person in the world would dare to refer to him as ‘sweetcheeks’ and the fact that _his_ department was just right across the hall only further solidifies Lu Han’s theory.

When Yifan returned with said person in tow, probably about to lecture him to apologize for turning Zitao’s room into a Christmas playhouse, Lu Han could only tilt his head in confusion when he saw 3 little pairs of tiny feet trailing after Sehun.

The tiny beings were holding onto the edge of Sehun’s shirt like innocent little ducklings and by the looks of it, seemed to be particularly afraid of the grumpy Dr. Wu.

Lu Han notices that Sehun was wearing yet again brightly colored clothing as he greeted Lu Han with a playful grin.

“Hi, Xiao Lu!”

Zitao wolf-whistled at the endearing tone in Sehun’s voice as he raked his gaze up and down the young pediatrician. He even manages to make out the letters embossed in Sehun’s nameplate before muttering to Lu Han in a low voice:

“How come you didn’t tell me you had such a _fine specimen_ thirsting after your crusty ass?”

Lu Han whacked the younger hard in the head as retaliation before pulling Sehun away from the kids and out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**II: Can I go where you go?**

**Can we always be this close forever and ever?**

* * *

Truth be told, Lu Han’s first encounter with Sehun hadn’t really been all that formal complete with rainbows and unicorns.

If anything, the skater boy just knew that right after the day he first came across the cheeky pediatrician, he had gone home harboring dark thoughts of wanting to wrap the other in thick rolls of medical gauze just so he won’t have to come across the shameless ~~and painfully handsome~~ doctor ever again.

“Xiao Lu Han?” were Sehun’s first words to him as far as Lu Han could recall.

He had given the younger a raised brow then, confused as to where the hell Junmyeon was and why this certain doctor was suddenly approaching him out of nowhere despite him clearly asserting with his infamous scowling face that he doesn’t want to be tended to by anyone else other than his friend.

“I checked the patient logbook. You come to the ER regularly. Do you mind if I dress your wounds?”

Before Lu Han could even refuse, the young doctor had already taken a seat right beside his bed and began unwrapping the bandage roll. Lu Han then took that chance to glance at his nameplate. _‘He’s a pediatrician so why is he…?’_

“Excuse me, but where is Nurse Kim Junmyeon?” Lu Han inquired, voice subtly laced with accusation as he held the cloth underneath his bleeding lip. Sehun simply rolled up the sleeves of his yellow sweater before answering with a quick _‘He’s away’_ which of course did not at all put Lu Han at ease because ‘ _what the hell does he mean by he’s away?’_

Doubtful even back then of the man’s intentions, Lu Han sported his usual intimidating gaze.

“Look, _uh_ , Dr. Oh, right? I’m sorry, but I don’t – _what the fu_ – _w-what the hell are you doing?!”_ Lu Han hollered, face heating up at the feel of the gentle touch previously attempting to tilt his chin (which he immediately managed to slap away).

Sehun blinked back at him twice before his mouth formed an ‘o’ upon realization.

“I was just going to check if you had any other cuts or bruises on your face. Sorry if it caught you off guard.”

Aghast, Lu Han had looked back at the doctor with brows scrunched in pure contempt. But Sehun didn’t seem to have at all sensed his growing animosity because the latter even smiled back at him, muttering a soft _‘May I proceed into treating you now?_ ’ before carefully dressing his wound.

In Lu Han’s defense, everything had gone smoothly for him that day because the nurse stationed at the desk did not even at all bat an annoyed eyelash at him for delaying his payment ( _he accidentally forgot his stuff at the skate park out of panic, that’s why_ )

plus, his wounds were even treated by Sehun as professionally as possible. It appeared to be a rare miraculous day for him and his risky lifestyle as he made his merry way out of the ER…

At least until he found out later on that same day that the cut underneath his lower lip had apparently been covered with a childish Bambi plaster [which Lu Han unfortunately did not notice until he got home and a guffawing Yixing pointed it out].

Oh Sehun then became just as infuriating as the annoying kids downtown who often tease him for his ‘unkempt noodle’ hair.

If Lu Han thought, however, that that was the last time he was ever gonna come across Sehun in the ER again, well, he was dead wrong. Because upon his next visit to the hospital after a failed grind trick with his board gave him a huge gash on his elbow and shin, Sehun had somehow appeared in front of him again.

And _again_.

And _again_ and _again_ until ‘ _Xiao Lu Han’_ gradually evolved into ‘ _Xiao Lu’_ and worst of them all: ‘sweetcheeks’.

_“Oh! Back again here for more, sweetcheeks? You know, you are very cute but this is the fifth time you’ve been in this month. Please be more careful.”_

_“Why is it you again? I don’t need a pediatrician to tend to me. I’m already 28, for fuck’s sake!”_

_Sehun’s eyes twinkled at his newfound discovery. “Oh? Well, I’m 27, great with kids, and very much single. What do you say about going on a lunch date with me later?”_

_Lu Han choked on his spit. “Are you seriously flirting with me in the middle of the ER? Get the hell away from me, you creep!”_

~~~

“… _Sehun_.”

“ _Oh Sehun.”_

_“EARTH TO DR. OH SEHUN, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME_?” Lu Han hissed out, a little annoyed that Sehun had kind of spaced out in the middle of their conversation. The fucker had been staring holes at his face with a sheepish smile since earlier; and Lu Han wasn’t quite sure what was so interesting about his face that Sehun’s eyes practically twinkled as he looked at it.

He snaps his fingers to get the young doctor’s attention. “Were you even paying attention to what I was saying earlier?”

Sehun shakes his head. “Sorry. You were saying?”

“I asked you if you were the one who arranged everything for Zitao. Otherwise, how would you know we’d be staying in this room? And please get rid of the decorations ASAP, we don’t need them.”

“I did take care of your friend’s confinement procedures,” Sehun admitted coolly. “Dr. Wu is… well, a good _friend_ of mine. And I happened to witness what happened back there at the ER so I went out of my way to help you and even prepared a little something with the kids to make your stay here worthwhile.”

What?

“The kids…?”

Sehun nods. “We arrange a few activities for them every December – _bring the Christmas spirit to them_ , if you could call it that.” There was a flash of sadness in Sehun’s eyes that disappeared almost immediately. “The hospital isn’t exactly an ideal place to celebrate your Christmas in. Especially for kids like them... But some of those staying in the pedia ward don’t really have much of a choice. They can’t go out of the hospital to spend it with their families. Their conditions are unpredictable and require constant monitoring so we instead find ways for them to be able to celebrate their Christmas here. It’s been this way in our department for years.”

Although Lu Han could care less about what goes on in the festivities during Christmas, he found himself unconsciously agreeing with Sehun. The cynical part of him which didn’t really fancy the holidays had wanted to argue back, but then again, he was no longer a kid who believes Santa Claus would give him a present for Christmas if he behaved properly.

Lu Han doesn’t really want to shatter an innocent tot’s fantasies just because he had been doused with the bitter reality about Christmas at a young age.

“Xiao Lu,” Sehun calls out, affectionately touching the smaller’s chin and causing Lu Han to swat his hand away. Sehun just laughs at the gesture. _Lu Han was really too cute [and snarky]_ for him not to tease.

“It would mean a lot to me if you’d let those decorations stay in your friend’s room. The kids in the pedia ward worked hard to make them – especially the paper ornaments. They’d be very happy to see that you like them. I would even already consider it as your payment for me helping your friend just in case you feel indebted.”

Lu Han felt himself at near hair-pulling levels as he reluctantly grumbled _‘Fine’_ underneath his breath. What’s worse was that he felt irked by the unnecessary proximity of their faces. But no matter how much he wants to deny it, Oh Sehun was undoubtedly _good-looking._

Like, _god-tier level good-looking_ and he can’t help but feel ashamed at the thought that he just admitted that to himself.

“I didn’t even ask for your help,” Lu Han says with a frown. “And I don’t like taking stuff for granted. I still demand that I repay you some other way.”

“ _Hmm_ … Are you sure about that?” Sehun asks him, leaning against the wall and tilting his head cutely as he sends the skater boy a meaningful grin.

“As long as it’s within my capabilities, of course. And I do hope you accept installments, I’m kind of tight on budget these days.”

“Installments are fine with me. We can always take it one _date_ at a time.”

“Really? Thanks a lot, _Seh_ – “

_Wait a fucking second._

“ _One_ _date at a time_?” Lu Han mumbles, puzzled. There’s no other _date_ Sehun could possibly be referring to except for the one that’s related to the months, days, and years on a calendar, right?

However, as he gauges the blinding smile decorating the young doctor’s face, Lu Han immediately figures out that _no_ , Sehun obviously meant otherwise. He wasn’t at all referring to measly _dates_ on a calendar. He meant _dates_ as in two people spending time together, visiting restaurants to dine and watching sappy movies at the cinema in hopes of getting to know more about each other.

Lu Han sputters a mouthful of colorful curses as he backs away at the realization. “I told you already, I don’t like you that way!”

“Y _ou don’t like me that way ‘YET’_ ,” Sehun corrected the last word with stern emphasis, eyes nonetheless reflective of understanding. “But that’s okay. We can just try going on dates to change that. I don’t mind us taking baby steps.”

“Baby steps… Aren’t you supposed to be too busy to even think about going on dates? What is wrong with you seriously…”

Sehun had let out a dry laugh at that.

“I can always compromise. Especially if it’s for you,” the doctor finishes with a wink though it was just as quickly shattered when one of the kids began crying and calling for him. Sehun gives the defeated Lu Han one last triumphant smile alongside a small piece of paper. “Got to go now, sweetcheeks. Here’s my number just in case. Don’t feel pressured, I personally prefer that we take it slow.”

When Sehun finally left him to his thoughts, Lu Han let out a groan of frustration as he fell to his feet and smothered his face with his palms.

He feels like he had just walked straight into an inescapable blackhole and accidentally gotten himself trapped in it 6 feet under.

~~~~

“ _Pfft_. Stop denying it, Lu- _ge_ , you obviously have the hots for him,” Zitao tells him later that week, finally having gotten accustomed to being stuck in bed with his leg awkwardly held up by a cast.

Lu Han just rolled his eyes as he fought the urge to hit the younger again in retaliation. And to make matters even worse for our cranky frizzy-haired protagonist, his eyes unconsciously dart towards the repulsively hot pink mini-Christmas tree sitting atop the bed stand. Lu Han replaces the bouquet of daisies on the flower vase with a scowl on his face.

“And if I may add, he even seems to be packing _down_ _there_ as well,” Zitao continuously rambled on. “Which means you’re gonna get the _injection_ of a lifetime once he finally puts his _dic_ – “

“Say anything more and I swear to god I will inject you with a tranquilizer, you moron.”

Zitao lets out an ugly chortle. “Okay, fine. I’ll stop.” The injured male adjusts his seating position on his bed before mumbling a crude _‘but honestly can’t wait for the day you and Sehun finally fu – ‘_

“HUANG ZITAO!”

The injured male stifled his own laughter as he fished out a familiar piece of paper underneath his pillow. “Fine, I’ll stop now for real. I don’t need any more of your bitch fits anyway, thank you very much. So how about you just go get me my fave Gingerbread Latte downstairs so I can finally finish collecting stickers for my Starbucks planner?”

Lu Han could only grumble out his annoyance as he gave in to the younger’s request.

He makes his way out of Zitao’s private ward and treks the long, spacious hallway of the hospital. As the skater boy looks outside the huge glass windows (lightly decorated with Christmas lights of course), he realizes that December was finally in full bloom.

He could no longer ditch Zitao every now and then to visit the skate park and practice some of his board tricks unless of course he wants to freeze to death.

More and more establishments are slowly putting up decorations outside of their buildings, Yixing had just recently left for his band’s annual charity concert camp in Gapyeong, and as for Lu Han’s case, his brain still can’t seem to come to terms with the reality that the hospital is indeed becoming _merrier_ and _merrier_ every passing day spent closer to Christmas.

The Pediatrics Department in particular has become the entire 5th floor’s source of joy the past few days.

“ _Noodle-gege!”_ Lu Han had to bite back a defeated sigh because _‘it’s Lu Han-gege and a trendy frizz hairstyle not freaking noodle-gege!’_ as he stops in his tracks and crouches down to greet 4-year-old Yena.

He sees two other kids excitedly running after said toddler: Yuan and Meilin – and Lu Han could already feel the onslaught of an unavoidable headache as he sends the two other rug rats an acknowledging nod.

“Hey, you. What’s up?” the skater boy awkwardly says, not exactly good at handling kids. Heck, he even challenges the bratty ones downtown to a merciless skateboard battle.

In conclusion, there is absolutely no room for Lu Han to orient himself about proper babysitting _._ He deals with kids based on what his gut feeling tells him to do [and also depending on how annoying they are].

As he watches little Yena babble excitedly about exchanging presents and meeting Santa’s red-nosed reindeer for Christmas, Lu Han thinks back to the first few days his routine at the hospital had been fairly tolerable, consisting only of him occasionally squabbling with Zitao and playing mobile games till sunrise in an attempt to distract himself from plucking off the glittery decorations dangling across the room.

Now, thanks to Oh Sehun and his tenacious agenda of pestering Lu Han every chance he gets, even the kids from the Pediatric Ward had somehow gotten acquainted with the skater boy – nicknaming him as ‘Noodle gege’ because of his hair and the many times he had been spotted eating instant ramen at the hospital cafeteria.

_(Sehun eventually found out about Lu Han’s unhealthy eating habits from the kids and ever since then the young doctor has been persistently giving the latter cartons of strawberry milk and lunchboxes. Lu Han had refused lots of times of course; but Zitao being the cheapskate he has always been thought it’d be real fucking dandy to keep on accepting them. ‘Why the fuck refuse when they’re for free and tasty!’_

_Lu Han swears one of these days he’s gonna end up breaking the younger’s other leg.)_

Yena gives the skater boy a toothy smile before holding up a familiar piece of paper. “Make paper angels with Yena again? Last time _reawwy_ pretty ones! Yena put them on _Chwistmas_ _twee_ and Yuan, Meilin want to make too!”

“Hun said he is _pwoud_ of Noodle-gege!” Lu Han doesn’t really give a shit about Sehun’s opinion regarding his origami skills but he has to admit he did feel kind of flattered. The whole ‘paper angel folding’ thing had been pretty much spontaneous, after all. He can’t even remember anymore how he ended up in the craft-and-play area of the Pediatric Ward when he was initially just planning to go to the cafeteria for a quick bite.

He does, however, recall himself standing behind the glass wall to watch Sehun interact with the kids. It was nice to see him in his element: taking care of children, playing with them (Sehun looks like a doting mother hen with all the kids following him around like little chicks, to be quite honest), and helping them decorate their Christmas cards. The sight unknowingly tugged at Lu Han’s stone-cold heart.

At least until Sehun caught him staring and abruptly dragged him inside. _‘Babies, meet Noodle-gege!’_

Lu Han scratches his head at the children’s request.

“No, _uh_.. Look, guys, sorry. I can’t accompany you today.” The three kids pout and begin to tear up. 

“ _Lu H_ – I mean, Noodle- _gege_ , yeah right, me,” the skater boy almost bit his own tongue as he forcibly referred to himself with the atrocious nickname. “Noodle- _gege_ has. _.._ somewhere to go tonight. Can’t make paper angels. Busy. Yeah. Fold maybe next time,” Lu Han finishes, afterwards feeling stupid as hell as he curses himself inwardly because _why the hell was he also trying so hard to baby-talk?!_

He must’ve looked like an idiot in the middle of the hallway as he flailed his arms everywhere in an attempt to explain himself to a bunch of 4-year-old kids.

What’s even worse was that Yuan had already begun to cry, accusing him of stuff like _‘Noodle-gege hates Yuan-ie! He don’t want make paper angels with him!’_ when in truth, Lu Han really just had somewhere to go. Specifically, the Starbucks just right across the hospital because he, for the love of god, just wants to get over Zitao’s errand for him once and for all.

“Hey, stop crying already,” Lu Han scolds lightly, earning unnecessary attention across the hall as he tries to pacify the three crying toddlers. Yena and Meilin had already latched themselves onto his waist, eyes both teary and lips quivering; whereas Yuan was still wailing the loudest, by now making grabby hands and begging to be carried. The problem was Lu Han had never carried a kid – much less, a crying toddler – before.

Fortunately [or unfortunately], someone finally came to his aid.

“HUUUUUUUUUUUNNN!” The two little girls cried, quickly running over to Sehun who looked like he had just finished his rounds judging by the tired smile on his face and his disheveled hair. Yuan, however, paid no attention to his favorite _hyung_ and was still adamantly making grabby hands towards a frozen Lu Han. Sehun laughs at the sight as he carries Yena with one arm and holds onto Meilin’s hand with the other.

“Pick him up,” he tells Lu Han who had just squawked back at him with _‘are you for real’_ written all over his face. “He’s not gonna stop crying unless you do, Lu. You wouldn’t want him to faint out of sadness now, do you? He’s asthmatic, by the way.”

Not wanting to be held responsible for any mishap, Lu Han reluctantly reaches for the crying Yuan. The flimsily built skater boy hides a grunt as he tries to pick the toddler up. _‘He’s quite… heavy.’_ Sehun stifles a laugh as he watches Lu Han awkwardly stare at Yuan’s tear-streaked face before eventually settling to clean it with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Let’s get them back to the play area. It’s movie night, they will calm down once they’ve settled in.” Lu Han just nods, adjusting his hold on little Yuan who was already starting to doze off on his shoulder.

As Sehun watches Lu Han dote over the snoozing Yuan – grumbling stuff like _‘hey kid, don’t drool on me’_ and _‘ugh, why on earth are you so heavy what do they even feed you in here’ –_ a small smile unconsciously finds its way across the young pediatrician’s lips.

“Hun, why you smiling? Noodle- _gege_ and Yuan-ie _alweady_ leave us behind! Hurwy, watch _Fwozen!_ ”

“O-oh. Yeah. Sorry. Let’s go.”


	3. Chapter 3

**III: And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees want you**

**I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all**

* * *

In the end, Sehun wounded up tagging alongside Lu Han to the Starbucks right across the hospital.

It was already way past 10 in the evening but the shop was still clearly bustling with life. It was filled with groups of teenagers, lovers sharing laughter and jokes over warm cups of coffee, and office workers probably cramming their last-minute documents before filing their leave for the holidays.

Sehun and Lu Han had no choice but to wait for their order by the tables outside, even though it was obviously freezing as seen in the rosiness of their cheeks and the thick clouds of smoke they were puffing out every time they exhaled.

“Here.”

Sehun blinks back confusedly at the cup of Americano Lu Han had just slid over to his side of the table. Faint Christmas songs echoed from the outdoor speakers of the shop as the two adults shared a comfortable silence.

“What’s this?”

“Coffee, obviously,” Lu Han had sassed, unwrapping his glazed donut and munching on it with much urgency. He initially planned to go to the cafe by himself after helping tuck Yuan into bed, but seeing Sehun temporarily free from his duties after days of tiring rounds in the hospital made Lu Han instead take the chance to invite the younger out for their _installment_ _dates_.

But of course, he didn’t refer to it directly as that. Lu Han rather kept it concise and easy to answer. In short, _cool skater boy style._

_“Hey. Want to grab some coffee downstairs? Zitao has me on an errand. I figured you might want to come along but if you’re still busy, it’s totally fine.”_

_Sehun had first looked at him intently before closing the door to the ward. Lu Han didn’t know why he felt his stomach making weird gazelle flips as he took in the doctor’s warm yet weary appearance. Something in Sehun’s eyes changed – that’s for sure – upon hearing Lu Han’s invite._

_And then there it was._

_The heart-stopping smile._

_“Sure. I’d love to go with you.”_

“Quit staring at my face and drink up while it’s still hot,” Lu Han tells Sehun. “You look like you’re gonna face plant on the table any minute now. Caffeine would help keep you awake.”

Sehun gives Lu Han a grateful nod before slowly sipping the bitter beverage. It burns his tongue and makes him wince in disgust, but the fact that Lu Han’s here with him somehow makes everything feel better.

“Is that worry I’m hearing from you, sweetcheeks?”

Lu Han responds with a noncommittal shrug, cheeks bloated with the donut as he looks out onto the busy streets. It was faint, but anyone would testify that his cheeks were briefly tainted a shade of red. _Probably due to the cold._

_“_ Who wouldn’t worry when you’ve been looking like shit the past few days. I’m guessing tough rotations?”

“Mmmh,” Sehun hums tiredly as he takes another sip. Lu Han studies his features: Sehun still looked the same, minus the usual cheery attitude and warmth emitting from his eyes. Lu Han concludes that maybe life as a medical professional really just saps the living shit out of anyone.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“How come you never wear your white coat when you’re inside the hospital? And why are your clothes always…” Lu Han purses his lips as he struggles to find the right words.

Today, Sehun was wearing a white shirt topped with a thulian trench coat, beige pants, and a pair of leather shoes. His black hair was neatly curtaining his perfectly shaped face and his clear glasses laid primly on the bridge of his nose to finish off the look. To put it quite bluntly, he looks more like a supermodel rather than a medical doctor. ~~Save for the bags underneath his eyes, of course.~~

“How do I say this… _extravagant, flashy_ , _ostentatious_? Anyhow, you get the point. I just find it weird because most doctors would wear their coats to give off a sense of pride and fulfillment while they’re at work. Don’t you guys have clothing protocols or something? Does your department head not call you out for it?”

Sehun chuckles softly as he puts down his coffee. Lu Han looks so adorable gazing up at him with those wide, curious doe eyes of his – a total contrast from his otherwise usually scowling face.

“I wasn’t informed that we’re gonna have our _getting-to-know-each-other_ session tonight. You could’ve at least warned me first,” Sehun teases, causing Lu Han to scoff disbelievingly and blurt out an embarrassed _‘don’t flatter yourself I’m just really curious, if you don’t wanna answer me then don’t.’_

“Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s Classical Conditioning?”

“ _Pav_ \- what?”

“Pavlovian Conditioning,” Sehun repeats, swirling his cup of Americano in an attempt to cool it down. “When I was still doing my undergraduate studies back in college, it was one of the topics that stuck to me the most. It basically says that people can learn to associate concepts with things based on what they see, feel, hear, or taste from it.”

“The bottomline is that I don’t want the kids to be scared of me. Or any of the doctors in our department, for that matter. You can just say I go way beyond the standards and do it a little more overboard at times,” Sehun says with a smile, eyes shining fondly as he talks about the kids he’s handling at the ward.

“You know about Yena, right?” Lu Han nods. “She used to be really scared of doctors back then. Even just by the mere sight of one she would start crying, have panic attacks or worst, faint and won’t wake up for days. I still remember her parents crying the first time it happened.”

The thought itself seemed unbelievable to Lu Han. The Yena he came to know is an absolute sunshine, a pure little sweetheart who graces the hospital’s Pediatrics Ward with her bubbly attitude and walks around its hallways as if it’s already her second home. Lu Han doesn’t even fancy kids, but he does admit that Sehun’s three little musketeers had already carved for themselves a special place in his heart the past few days he had been staying in the hospital for Zitao.

“Yena was a tough case to handle until she eventually ended up being put under my care. The first time I met her, she didn’t even cry. She just looked at me curiously, asking who I was and why I had a _purple telephone_. Then she gave me a peck on the cheek because she liked my red jacket and found me handsome in it,” Sehun laughs, face full of adoration as he recalls the little girl’s reaction upon seeing him with his stethoscope. Lu Han snorts at the unnecessary ‘handsome’ part but doesn’t bother refuting it because he does admit that it was true at some point.

“I managed to administer her shots without causing her to thrash around or faint. Sure, she teared up a bit but then that’s pretty much normal for kids who are getting their injections, no? And do you know what she said to me afterwards?”

Lu Han raises a brow at Sehun.

“She said ‘thank you’ and that she likes me because I was different. I wasn’t like the other _meanies wearing white_ who came up to her and hurt her with an _ouchie wand_. Granted, I did give her the _ouchie wand_ as well but Yena was able to feel more at ease with me because she said my clothes reminded her of her favorite Disney character.”

Sehun gingerly traces the rim of his cup as he narrates the rest of the story.

“I figured that it was sad… White was supposed to stand for relief and comfort. Doctors and nurses wear it because it’s supposed to tell patients that everything’s gonna be fine, that help is on the way and that they’re going to feel better. But that wasn’t the case for Yena. Nor for many other kids in the pedia ward, for that matter.”

“To them, white was a terrifying color. It signified pain and loneliness because it’s all they’ve ever seen and felt ever since they got admitted to the hospital. Those kids and even their parents pretty much want to escape from it but sadly can’t.”

Lu Han recalls the first day he saw Sehun with the three kids and how they were subtly cowering under Dr. Wu’s presence. He remembers Yena coloring her picture books until the crayons are all blunt and worn out, Yuan’s fascination with Sehun’s everyday clothes, and even the colorful Christmas decorations they had put up to welcome Zitao into his private room.

It all makes sense now.

“Pediatrics is slightly a little more special because we’re dealing with kids. And as much as possible, we want them to be comfortable with us as we help them heal.” Sehun sips on the last drops of his coffee before putting it back down. “I personally don’t mind if my choice of clothes tends to come off as flashy or ostentatious to some. It sounds cheesy I know, but I do it simply because I want the kids to trust me.”

Sehun grins childishly. “I want to be the sole _splash of color_ in their lives within the hospital’s bland white walls.”

At those cheesy words, Lu Han snaps out of his amazed bubble and sputters on his doughnut.

“ _Sorry._ But what are you, some sort of human crayon?” the 28-year-old laughed, his breath coming out in puffs of smoke [and crumbs of bread] as he imagined Sehun wearing a crayon headgear and running about hilariously along the hospital corridors, yelling cringey stuff like _‘I will make your life colorful!’_

The café’s speakers were by now faintly blasting a song that went along the lyrics of _‘I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, and I want them all’_ though most of it was drowned out by the sound of Lu Han’s raucous laughter.

A surprised Sehun observes Lu Han busy himself with his own hilarious imaginations. The doctor’s earlier feeling of sluggishness was slowly starting to flush out of his system. It was probably the caffeine already doing its work, but the rare instances of seeing Lu Han laugh like this also alleviates his exhaustion in more ways than one.

Sehun melts as he basks at the golden sight.

“You know, it gets really hectic at this time of the year in the hospital and it’s been this way for me ever since,” Sehun began, lifting a hand to brush away a crumb from the corner of Lu Han’s mouth. The gesture takes the other male by surprise as he comically freezes on his seat. “You really should smile and laugh more often, Xiao Lu. I feel as if things become much more bearable for me whenever I see you so happy like this.”

_PING_!

“One Gingerbread Latte for _Noodle-gege_! Customer _Noodle-gege_ , kindly claim your order from the counter!”

It was awkward for a while and neither of them made a move.

But after a few agonizing seconds, Lu Han learned to ignore the sudden abnormal beating of his heart and his face burned a deep shade of red as the barista’s words slowly sank in. He rushed inside the shop like a madman, missing the surprised look on Sehun’s face and the burst of laughter that followed right after because _gosh, was Lu Han just as out-of-it as he was that he mistakenly told the barista he was named ‘Noodle-gege’?_

“Stop laughing already!” The skater boy yelled, already too embarrassed enough because even when they were already a few steps away from the shop, Sehun was still breaking into fits of giggles. “It wasn’t even that funny. It was just an honest mistake, okay!”

Sehun clutches onto his stomach as he lets out a high-pitched laugh. “Sorry. I can’t help it, it’s just so funny to me. You should’ve seen your face when the speakers blasted your order. It was priceless.”

“Shut up. It’s all your and those kids’ fault! I can’t even believe… _ugh that’s it I’m out of here!_ ” Lu Han seethed. He fastens his pace to leave Sehun behind out of annoyance, but because the doctor was unfortunately gifted with long legs, his 5 stomps only took Sehun 3 strides to catch up. They stop in front of the crosswalk because the pedestrian light had flashed red.

Sehun takes that chance to glance at Lu Han before stifling another laugh threatening to bubble from this throat. Lu Han rolls his eyes. Sehun can try, but the mischievous glint in his orbs were already a dead giveaway. He was obviously not gonna let go of the matter any time soon and would tease Lu Han about it in the coming days.

“So how about you tell me something about yourself this time?” prodded Sehun, albeit still grinning impishly, after calming down from his laughing fit as they cross the road upon green light. Because of the frigid weather, the doctor had even his already gloved hands tucked into the warm pockets of his jacket while Lu Han could only put up with the cold because his hoodie had no pockets and his other hand was busy holding onto Zitao’s Gingerbread Latte.

Sehun had already offered his gloves earlier but of course, Lu Han being as stubborn as a mule, refused.

“Only because I’m a fair person.”

“Alright, then. So why do you like skateboarding?”

“Is that even a question…” Lu Han snorted. “I do it obviously because it’s fun. I’ve been into sports ever since I was a kid. When I came here for my university exchange program, I met Zitao and his crew in the skate park and that’s how I got roped into it.”

“That’s cute. I had no idea you were athletic,” Sehun mused with a small nod of approval. Lu Han just became even more endearing to him now. “What other sports do you play? Were you a school athlete?”

“Yeah. I got the exchange program offer here because I was a varsity player in my school’s soccer team back in Beijing. My parents didn’t really support my acceptance of the scholarship though… because they wanted me to take up a pre-med degree for med school. You can probably guess how that conversation went since I’m currently here talking to you not as an esteemed medical doctor like yourself but as a ratty, accident-prone skater boy,” Lu Han finished with a laugh although there was a hint of sadness in his eyes as he spoke about his parents.

Sehun’s brows furrowed in disagreement because he didn’t like how Lu Han thought so little of himself. “…How are you now with your parents? If you don’t mind me asking…”

Lu Han didn’t even appear fazed as he answered honestly. “We’re… _fine_ , I guess? I call from time to time to check on them, see if I can offer anything to help out with their small business but most of the time they’d just say they’re doing okay and that I should just focus on myself so I can find myself a decent and stable job. I honestly think they just came to accept my decisions overtime...”

“…I do _miss_ them though,” Lu Han added in a faint melancholic tone. And in that exact moment, with the streetlights shining softly on his unguarded lonely form, Sehun found himself aching to hug Lu Han for comfort.

The doctor would’ve done exactly just that if not for Lu Han suddenly letting out a loud uncivilized sneeze as he transfers the cold cup of latte to his other hand and waves off the numbness in the other for the third time. Sehun purses his lips as he attempts to lend Lu Han his gloves.

“I told you already you can just borrow my – “

“Nah. I’m fine.”

“But you might get frostbites.”

“I said I’m fine,” Lu Han insisted, slightly getting flustered because _why was Sehun being unreasonably sweet and caring now just earlier he was laughing at Lu Han’s face and then went on ahead to ask him personal stuff and now he’s being frustrating and unpredictable it makes Lu Han’s stomach lurch weirdly_. “Those are yours and I don’t want to impose. It’s on me for going out in this kind of weather without bringing my gloves anyway.”

“You’re really going to be this stubborn, huh.”

“N – _wait, give that back!_ Sehun!” Lu Han demanded, reaching for the cup of latte Sehun had just snatched from his freezing hand. He finds it even more vexing that Sehun easily towers over his lithe frame. “I said give it back! What is wrong with you! Don’t slosh it around, Zitao will have my head if it spills!”

“You’re exaggerating. I’ll hold onto it carefully,” Sehun assured in a firm tone, all traces of his previous playfulness gone out of the window as he stared at Lu Han’s shivering form. The skater boy could only gape his mouth like a fish as he reluctantly acquiesced. “Now, will you listen to me? You keep saying you’re fine when your hands are already cold as ice. Why are you so stubborn?”

Lu Han bites his lip.

He hates it.

He hates how he finds himself affected by the worry painting Sehun’s orbs. It was making him feel uneasy.

“If I say I’m fine, then I really am fine. I’m not some sort of damsel in distress. I can take care of myself…”

Sehun doesn’t answer as he abruptly puts the drink down by the bench and removes one of his gloves. He grabs Lu Han a little too aggressively and reaches for one of his freezing hands. Without asking for permission, Sehun blows hot air onto it, startling in the process Lu Han who tried to pull away. The younger looked at him sternly as he kept him in place.

“You’re obviously feeling cold and yet you keep insisting you aren’t. Who are you trying to fool?” the doctor said with a click of his tongue before putting his glove on Lu Han’s hand. “You don’t want to feel like you’re imposing on me, fine. You have the other pair and I have the other. Fair trade now, isn’t it?”

“Stupid,” Lu Han deadpanned before holding up his other hand. “What am I supposed to do with this one then?”

Sehun ponders.

However, it didn’t take long for his eyes to light up with a familiar glint. He reaches for Lu Han’s ungloved hand and whirls beside the other to tuck their hands snug inside his coat’s pocket. Sehun clasps their hands firmly inside the warm space as he turns to Lu Han with a satisfied grin.

“Problem solved. Feels more comfortable now, does it not?”

“But why do we have to hold hands? Let go already, I was just kidding!”

“If you’re feeling embarrassed because someone might see then no need to worry your pretty little head over it. Our hands are perfectly hidden inside my pocket,” Sehun seals the deal with a cheeky smile as he picks up the latte from the bench. He begins to resume walking and ends up dragging a whining Lu Han with him because he was adamant to not let go of the other’s hand.

The sight would’ve appeared romantic had it not been for Lu Han who sported a perpetually constipated face beside him the whole time they made their way back to the hospital. Sehun didn’t care, though. He was too busy reveling at the feel of Lu Han’s calloused hands, sneakily tracing the ridges and rough patches of skin as he fought the urge to laugh at the way Lu Han flinches whenever he caresses a certain spot –

“Is this another one of your ploys to toy around with me? Because it’s not funny.”

Sehun stops in his tracks.

His brows scrunch in an offended stance as he takes in Lu Han’s mumbled words. They were now only a few blocks away from the hospital’s entrance. All they had witnessing their conversation were trees, wet pavements, traffic lights, and streetlights adorned by the posts with the warm glow of star-shaped Christmas lanterns.

“ _Toy around_?” Sehun muttered lowly. There was a trace of disappointment laced within his voice as he looked at Lu Han square in the eye. “Is that what you think I’ve been doing with you all this time?”

The older boy heaves a deep breath before taunting Sehun with a bitter scoff. “Oh, come on. What other reason could even be there? You can’t possibly expect me to think that you’re serious with me?”

_**“And what if I am?”** _

Lu Han feels all the cockiness vacate his soul as he takes in the sight of Sehun’s offended face. His challenging stance dwindles down into a nervous gulp as they gaze at each other heatedly. It was the first time he heard the usually bubbly doctor talk with so much sharpness in his tone. It sounded so _foreign_ to Lu Han’s ears he found it difficult to utter a decent reply.

“Be honest with me, Xiao Lu. Do you feel something for me whenever I’m with you?”

“…”

“I won’t let go until you answer my question.”

Sehun gently squeezes his hand inside his pocket and it makes Lu Han’s knees quiver in denial.

“…D-don’t be ridiculous,” Lu Han stutters out. “I already told you I d-don’t like you _that_ way. I was only saying that you should stop teasing me like this because it gets on my nerves and m-makes me feel uncomfortable.’” 

To his surprise, Sehun had only let out a soft chuckle at his reply. It resonated faintly within the air but it was loud enough to be recognized as a sound of amusement. Lu Han was just about to ask what was so funny until a sudden tug on his hand makes him stumble forward. Zitao’s drink spills onto the wet pavement the same time a gloved hand ruffled his hair.

_“_ You know, Xiao Lu, we really need to work on your lying skills _,”_ Sehun breathes out, mirthful face only a few centimeters from Lu Han’s reddened one. “How exactly do I make you feel uncomfortable, hm? Tell me, sweetcheeks. I’m a doctor, maybe I can help you feel better.”

“ _I wasn’t_ -! _You_ -! I di-didn’t mean it like that! It’s a totally different thing! I really just wanted you to stop messing with me, that’s all!”

Sehun simply observes Lu Han’s panicking face, eyes shining with obvious fondness, before letting out a pleased smirk.

“I think we will be needing a confirmatory test to find out what’s wrong with you. Do you mind?”

“Do I mind what?”

And then suddenly…. there was a warm, comforting sensation on his forehead.

Legend has it that when someone confesses to you or is simply with you on the first snowfall, the both of you will be together for a long time. Lu Han normally doesn’t give a shit about such myths since he doesn’t fancy anything related to Christmas.

But now that someone like Oh Sehun was in front of him, holding him close and giving him a soft kiss on his forehead underneath the falling snowflakes of December’s first snow, he kind of wants to believe.

Wants to believe that a foul-mouthed 28-year-old skater boy like him who has done nothing but get himself into trouble because of his risky hobbies actually has a chance with someone like Oh Sehun.

~~~

“Welcome back, _ge_! Wait, where the hell is my drink?!”

“…”

“Oh my god, I waited hours and you didn’t get me my drink?! Lu- _ge_ , why – “

_“Not now, Zitao.”_

“What do you mean not now?! I demand my Gingerbread Latte, where is it? Did you get my sticker sheet stamped at least? _Ge,_ why is your face like that?! Did something happen? Oh my god, _was it that jerk and his gang again_ -”

Lu Han crumbles to the floor in front of his hysteric friend’s bed as he covers his face with his hands. Zitao was alarmed by this but couldn’t exactly go to comfort him because of his casted leg.

“Lu- _ge_ , what’s wrong…?”

“… _-m doomed_ …”

“Huh?”

“Tao, I think something’s wrong with me,” Lu Han mumbled, ruffling his own hair out of frustration as he let out a string of blatant Mandarin curses. Zitao felt like a lost puppy as he watched his _ge_ rant a flurry of nonsense on the hospital floor like he’s officially lost his mind. And if ever that was really the case then Lu Han might just need a _different_ _kind_ of hospital.

“Did something happen while you were out?”

Lu Han shakes his head as he wills the memory away.

_Sehun pulls away from the light contact and takes a good look first at Lu Han’s face before noticing a familiar patch of skin underneath the other’s lower lip. His mouth curves upward as if to hint his fondness at the sight of the tiny scar – the small wound that led him to his first meeting with Lu Han at the emergency ward._

_“Looks like it healed well.”_

_Lu Han couldn’t bring himself to move nor squeak out a syllable at the shock of it all. He blinks once, twice; before he realizes their rather intimate position. Snow was starting to accumulate on their hair and clothes but despite the added coldness, he could only instead feel himself slowly melting underneath Sehun’s scrutinizing gaze._

_This was bad._

_He snaps out of his trance and sends a scandalized glare towards the taller._

_“You… what the hell did you just…”_

_Sehun shushes Lu Han by placing a finger atop his quivering lips. And instead of immediately explaining himself, he pats away first the snow stuck on Lu Han’s frizzy locks._

_“Honestly, I am quite offended that you’ve thought that way of my actions all this time,” Sehun says after a while, holding Lu Han by the shoulder to rid him of the heap of snow accumulating on his jacket. “But Lu, I want you to know that I am serious about you – have always been since day one – and before you start jumping into weird conclusions again, I’ll have you know in advance that I am going to pursue you properly this time so that you won’t get any more wrong ideas.”_

_“Pursue… What do you mean…?”_

_“Uh.. I’m going to court you…?”_

_“wHAT - ”_

_“Court you, woo you, become your lover, make you fall for me..? Whichever of those you choose to believe, sweetcheeks, that’s what I exactly mean. I’m going to try to win you over until you finally admit that you like me too.”_

_“You’re crazy!”_

_Sehun just grins at him charmingly. “That, maybe I really am. But only for you.”_

_He brings Lu Han’s cold hand which he’s been holding since earlier and blows another wave of hot air onto it. The action makes the other flinch in surprise. Lu Han’s starting to hate how his defenses seem to soften whenever Sehun treats him that way._

_And so he swiftly retracts his arm._

_“S-stop joking around and let’s just get inside already! Your hair’s already turning white because of the snow!” He eyes Zitao’s spilled drink on the pavement and makes a mental note to just replace it some other time. For now, he just wants to get away from Sehun because his heart was starting to act real funny within his rib cage Lu Han is convinced he’s soon gonna come down with a serious cardiovascular disease._

_He can probably just pretend afterwards that nothing ‘unusual’ happened between him and Sehun once he’s settled into Zitao’s room, but that thought immediately gets scrapped because the very object of his aversion seemed to have no plans of parting from him just yet._

_“But, Xiao Lu, I wasn’t joking around,” Sehun whined with a pout and Lu Han so badly wanted to crawl in a hole and probably just die because the sight of a giant fluffball like Sehun acting all cute beside him isn’t exactly a scene to be proud of._

_“Oh, and I also don’t mind my hair turning white. When I was still in med school, I even used to have silver hair. Lots of people said I looked a lot like Jack Frost.”_

_Lu Han doesn’t really know how he’s supposed to deal with the atmosphere. How the hell can Sehun shift moods so easily as if he hadn’t just blatantly confessed to him earlier?! It was as if the younger had a magic mood switch and can go from serious to embarrassing in a nanosecond._

_He tries his best to ignore the other’s presence as he instead focuses on calming the erratically beating organ inside his chest. Just a few more floors and they’d finally be able to go their separate ways._

_3 rd floor… 4th floor… 5th…_

_The elevator doors open and Lu Han makes a move to rush out._

_But before he can even make a dash to the left wing of the building, he feels himself getting pulled back by the hood of his jacket. He lets out a grunt as he stumbles backwards straight onto Sehun’s chest. Hot breath brushes past his cheek as Sehun leans down to whisper softly into his ear, in his ever-tantalizing bedroom voice._

_“My glove, sweetcheeks…” the younger says. “You might want to return it first? Unless you wish to keep it for yourself so that you’re constantly reminded of me… I personally won’t mind if that’s the case.”_

_Lu Han’s face heats up as he removes the piece of fabric from his hand and throws it towards Sehun before hastily scrambling away. He ignores the teasing chuckle that followed afterwards as well as the cute ‘good night Xiao Lu, see you tomorrow, dream of me!’ which blared through the hallways._


	4. Chapter 4

**IV: My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue**

**All's well that ends well to end up with you**

* * *

Another week and 3 more days of staying at the hospital to watch over Zitao [hence, only a few more days left ‘til Christmas] and Lu Han swears he’s gonna be the next one to occupy a room at the cardiology ward because of the sheer amount of times his heart had threatened to leap out of his chest.

He’s no medical professional but Lu Han is pretty sure that once he gets diagnosed, the results of his tests would probably point out to only one obvious culprit: _a tall, painfully handsome and annoying child whisperer named Oh Sehun_.

Lu Han can no longer even recall the embarrassing number of times his chest had constricted whenever Sehun came near him. It was as if he had become hyper-aware of the other ever since _that_ night.

Be it a simple smile, a greeting in the hallway, a pat on the hair, or the mere act of giving him a snack or a lunch box through the kids – Lu Han would always find himself cracking at the gesture and the skater boy knew it was only a matter of time before he gives in to a humiliating defeat.

Sehun indeed stayed true to his word when he said he’s going to pursue Lu Han properly this time around. His attempts of trying to win Lu Han’s heart basically went from downright childish cringey to borderline sweet and romantic that it immensely annoys the skater boy out of his wits because _what the actual fuck, why does he act like a giddy high school girl whenever Sehun is within his periphery it’s so uncool and unlikely of him!_

Lu Han had tried to lessen his encounters with Sehun as a consequence.

In fact, he tried way too many times due to his pride and stubbornness.

But even if Sehun does not get to see Lu Han for a day (either because he’s out of the hospital to work at his separate clinic or Lu Han is cooped up at the skate shop trying to earn a living), the doctor would still somehow always find a way to occupy Lu Han’s thoughts and stay there until the latter has no choice but to binge-watch Tony Hawk’s skateboarding competitions on YT just so he can exhaust himself to sleep and hopefully not dream of the young pediatrician.

During such days, most of the time Sehun would check on [read: _annoy_ ] Lu Han through texts: asking him how his day went, if he had already eaten, and that the kids are badly missing their Noodle-gege. Lu Han being a thick-headed asshole wouldn’t reply, of course.

But Sehun would keep on messaging him anyway. Nowadays, the younger had even upgraded from sending cute selfies and voice messages to straight up video-calling Lu Han that it disrupts his stream of an ongoing competition between Wang Kai’s crew and a bunch of rookie skaters.

Lu Han begrudgingly turns off the stream as he tries to forget the arrogance radiating off his ex-crewmate.

“What do you want?!” he yells into the screen of his phone, expecting Sehun to remain unfazed and chuckle as usual. Only this time, Sehun _cried._ No, he actually hiccupped first before wailing so loudly and wait, why does he look so chubby and sound like – _oh shit._

“Y-Yuan…?”

_‘WHY YOU YELL AT YUAN-IE?! NOODLE-GEGE HATES YUAN-IE??? WAAAAHHH!!!’_ The camera pans out from the little boy’s slobbering, tear-streaked face to Sehun’s troubled one. The doctor had a worried look on his face as he adjusts his phone to place it onto what seems to be a kiddie table and Lu Han could only groan at his own stupidity as he realizes what he had just done.

“Shit, Sehun, I’m sorry I didn’t know – “

“Language, Lu,” Sehun scolds from the other line as he pats Yuan’s back to try and pacify the child. Lu Han bites his lip in shame. “You really need to stop answering your phone at the top of your voice. Do you hate hearing from me that much?”

“I…” How was he even supposed to explain himself? “I’m sorry. And no, it’s not like that. I just got carried away with what I was watching. Tell Yuan I sincerely apologize.”

Sehun just sighs as he takes in Lu Han’s guilty face. He faces his phone to see more of the older boy – Yuan currently in his arms and hugging him tightly and like usual after a crying episode, already starting to doze off on his shoulder. The kid easily tires out whenever he cries. “It’s okay, apology accepted,” Sehun says after a while, not particularly able to withstand seeing Lu Han sad. “What were you watching anyway?”

“N-Nothing much. Just skateboarding stuff,” Lu Han replies, not too keen on letting Sehun know about who exactly Wang Kai was in his life. “Why did you call anyway? This is the first time you tried video-calling me.”

“I had a hunch you won’t reply to my messages like usual,” Sehun laughs and Lu Han doesn’t know why he felt a tad bit guilty for it. ~~He does read Sehun’s messages – each and every single one of them – and he even has all the latter’s selfies saved in his phone though Lu Han wouldn’t dare admit to it~~.

He’s falling way too fast despite being the one to put up the barricades against Sehun and he knows it.

“ _I miss you, Lu,_ ” Sehun rasps out from the other line. Once more, Lu Han’s heart skips a beat as he easily sees through the sincerity in Sehun’s eyes even through the pixelated screen of his phone. “The kids miss you a lot, too. I know it’s just been 2 days but it really makes a difference whenever you’re here to play with them. They might even like you more than me now.”

“Don’t lie. I just yelled at Yuan earlier and that was a very stupid move. Pretty sure you’re still number one for him now because of that.”

“But even if that’s the case, I believe Yuan here still wants you to come over to join us for exchange gifts,” Sehun reveals with a smile. “That’s the reason why I tried to video-call. Yuan here wanted to invite you himself, but…”

“…but I yelled at him,” Lu Han finished forlornly. The older boy smothers his face with his hands as he remembers what he had just done. “God, I feel so bad. I swear I really didn’t mean it.”

He hears Sehun chuckle softly from the other line. “I’m pretty sure this little guy here would appreciate it more if you’d come over to join us. You can also take that opportunity to personally apologize to him. And to his parents.”

“His parents will be there?”

“Not only his. Yena and Meilin’s parents will also be there. Basically most of the kids’ parents will be joining us. This is part of the hospital’s annual Christmas activities after all. I’m sure they’ll love it if you would come over to join us. I already invited Tao as well as nurse Kim and his boyfriend who has currently taken over your shift to look after Zitao.”

“Yixing joined as well?”

Sehun nods. “Mm. You’re the only one left uninvited. So… what do you say to my humble invitation?”

Sehun’s eyes were sparkling even through the pixelated phone screen that Lu Han had no other choice but to sigh in defeat.

~~~

It was rowdy and crowded as hell.

Red and green balloons filled every nook and crevice of the function hall. Some kids were wearing Santa hats atop their hospital gowns, others held big gift boxes, and a few parents were cramped in a corner happily chatting over orange drinks and crunchy gingerbreads.

Lu Han felt so out-of-place with his oversized shirt, headphones, and cargo pants. But at least he still took time to plaster a band aid over his tattoo and to style his hair neatly and put powder on his face.

“You must be _Noodle-gege_?” The skater boy got too caught up with his thoughts that he didn’t even notice a short male with full plump lips had already sauntered over to him. Lu Han wants so bad to bolt out of the room because he’s amazingly _bad_ at socializing with these types of people but then again, it’s not like that was so easy to do.

And so, like an awkward turtle, he greets back robotically.

“I knew it! Our Yena’s been talking about you a lot. I’m Kyungsoo, by the way. Kim Kyungsoo.” Lu Han hesitantly takes the other’s hand for a quick handshake. “I apologize if she has been bothering you too much these past days. She just really gets hyperactive whenever the holidays are fast approaching.”

“No. It’s totally fine. She’s not a bother at all.” _‘And my name is Xiao Lu Han by the way, not Noodle-gege…’_

Only God knows how his strained smile must’ve come off to the young parent. Lu Han internally moans in embarrassment. He’s not used to engaging in formal conversations. He thrives best in trash-talking and flipping off skateboarders and gangsters on the streets, not in conversing with well-established adults and parents.

“Well then, I guess we’ll just see you around, Noodle _gege_ -sshi,” Kyungsoo says, prompting Lu Han to let out a strangled sound. “Hm? Is something wrong?”

“ _Uh.._ My name, sir. It’s Xiao Lu Han,” the 28-year-old attempts to explain through gritted teeth. “Not _Noodle-gege_. _Hehe_. The kids just… you know. Because of my hair.”

“Oh~ So you are Xiao Lu Han…”

Lu Han nods unsurely.

To add to his confusion, Lu Han swears something in Kyungsoo’s eyes twinkled in realization although he could not pinpoint what exactly it was. He wasn’t able to ask further what was wrong because a tanned male had already sidled up to them, holding a sleeping Yena in his arms. Lu Han had to look away in embarrassment when the man affectionately planted a kiss on the side of Kyungsoo’s head. _‘Must be his husband.’_

The tanned male’s eyes comically widen upon seeing Lu Han.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there,” he exclaims, red fanning his cheeks because he was unaware that Lu Han had witnessed him being all clingy and intimate. Kyungsoo just laughs at him before taking Yena from his arms and adjusting her in his hold.

“It’s fine, Nini.” ‘ _Nini? No wonder Yena managed to come up with something like Noodle-gege.._.’

“This is my husband, by the way: Kim Jongin. Nini, this is Xiao Lu Han, Yena’s _Noodle-gege._ ”

“Oh~ I see. So you’re that Lu Han. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

_That_ Lu Han?

“Wh –“

A bunch of squeals interrupts Lu Han from voicing out his thoughts. “Mina- _noona_! Mina- _noona_ is here!” It was chaotic for a while as the kids scrambled over to the entrance where a tall, young lady presumably named ‘Mina had just arrived. The woman was clad in a simple winter coat and black boots although the entire outfit itself already screamed ‘expensive’ to Lu Han’s eyes.

“Hello to you too, my babies! _Noona_ missed you lots!” She bends down to ruffle each kid’s hair, a sweet smile decorating her doll-like face as she began handing them what seemed to be a packet of Christmas cookies. It was as if Mina’s arrival had livened up the event even more, judging by the way the kids’ parents looked at her adoringly.

“..’pa, put Yena down. Yena wants Mina- _noona_ ~!” a sleepy Yena whined against Kyungsoo’s shoulder. The little girl was up and about in a second, failing to notice her _Noodle-gege_ ’s presence as she dashed over to the crowd of kids surrounding Mina. Kyungsoo and Jongin could only sigh in defeat as they watched their baby girl stumble her way over.

“That child, really… One of these days, I’m going to throw a tantrum over her obvious infatuation for Ms. Kang.”

Jongin just chuckles at his husband’s antics as he pats the small of his back. “Kyung, you know very well how much the kids here adore her. Besides, Mina drops by only once in a blue moon. Let her borrow our princess for a while.”

“But it’s not fair~ Look at her bribing them again with her cookies! I’m pretty sure I can bake better than her!” Jongin attempts to kiss away the pout forming on his face but Kyungsoo was quick to avoid it upon noticing Lu Han awkwardly averting his eyes away from them.

“Stop it, you clingy baby. Lu Han-sshi is still here!”

“O-oh!” Jongin pulls away from his husband, scratching the back of his head embarrassedly. “Sorry about that again, Lu Han-sshi. _Hehe_.”

_‘It’s fine. You two are sappy as heck and I think I’m about to puke rainbows_ ,’ screamed the 28-year-old inside his head but instead he just replies back with an awkward cough before adjusting the headphones propped on his neck.

“S-so, uhm…” he scans his eyes around the hall, looking for a possible diversion so as not to come off as a snob around the couple. “Who is she?” He points instead to Mina’s direction, who was still busily distributing Christmas cookies to the kids.

“Ah, that’s Kang Mina,” Jongin explains. “Daughter of Chinese herbalist Xiaoqing and pâtissier Kang Ryujin. Her family’s quite affluent and from what I know, they’ve been an annual charity partner of this hospital for decades. She always attends this Christmas event to hang out with the kids and give out her home-made baked goods.”

“I see…” _‘She looks very… sophisticated,_ ’ Lu Han couldn’t help but admit that to himself.

“By the way, Lu Han-sshi, since you’re close with our Yena and the other kids in the ward, I presume you also happen to know Dr. Oh?”

Lu Han’s eyes widened in realization. He forgot to look for Sehun and tell the latter that he has already arrived!

“ _Uh_ -“

“ _NOODLE-GEGE!_ ”

_That familiar shrilly voice…_

“Yua – _oof!_ ” Lu Han almost tumbled to the floor with the kid had it not been for his fast instinct to catch the boy mid-air. He even briefly heard Jongin and Kyungsoo gasp in surprise at the unexpected interaction. Lu Han grunts as he feels Yuan encase him in a tight bear hug, the child’s legs wrapped around his torso like a koala.

“ _NOODLE-GEGE_ , _YOU CAME! YUAN-IE MISSED YOU!_ ” A clumsy peck on his cheek followed by a snuggle into the crook of his neck. "Yuan-ie thought Noodle- _gege_ wouldn't come… I thought you hated Yuan-ie."

"That's not true. I don't hate you," Lu Han murmurs, adjusting his hold on the tyke even though he feels like his arms are gonna give up on him any time soon. Seriously, why was this kid so damn heavy?

"Park Yuan!" A familiar voice suddenly exclaims. And as if his own heart had a mind of its own, Lu Han couldn't help but feel his face heat up and his senses to go into conscious mode. 

Soon enough, there _he_ was ㅡ hair and clothes disheveled, and breathing heavily as if he had just gone from a sprint race. He was wearing yet again another peculiar outfit: a white sweatshirt with a butterfly print and streaks of red, green, blue paired off with khaki pants and a fake Santa beard.

Sehun's face lit up in recognition upon seeing Lu Han with Yuan in his arms.

"Xiao Lu…" the 27-year-old exclaimed softly, ripping off the fake Santa beard from his face. Lu Han replies with a brief, almost stuttering ' _Hey'_ before meeting the other's eyes as a show of acknowledgement and that was enough for a smile to bloom across Sehun's face. "You came..."

"Yes, Hun- _hyung_ , look, Noodle- _gege_ is here! Yuan-ie did great with the videocall!"

“Yeah, you did,” Sehun chuckles, ruffling the kid’s hair affectionately. The scene would’ve already come off as picture perfect of a happy little family had it not been for the deep booming voice that suddenly interrupted.

“Park Yuan, how many times do I have to – _oh_ ” exclaimed a tall male with big ears and almond-shaped eyes. One look at his features and Lu Han could already deduce who he was to little Yuan. He musters a polite bow at the young man before urging Yuan to go with his father. The man sheepishly returns him a smile as he takes his son from Lu Han’s arms.

Almost immediately, the man turns to Yuan with a frown on his face. “I told you not to run off like that, didn’t I? Look, you even made Dr. Oh worried. Say sorry, Yuan-ah.”

“Sorry, Hun,” pouted the little boy but then his eyes quickly settle once more on Lu Han and he claps happily. “Appa, look! Yuan-ie found Noodle- _gege_! Yuan-ie called him with Hun phone earlier and he come here to give Yuan-ie a present!”

_Oh no_.

Lu Han’s palms began to sweat in nervousness because _oh shit, he forgot to buy presents!_ _How the hell did he have the full audacity to come here empty-handed when it was clearly a Christmas party?!_ Flustered at the child’s announcement, Lu Han turns to Sehun for help. True enough, the young pediatrician seemed to have already realized his dilemma because Sehun was flashing him a hopeless look [though it came with a hidden smile because well, _a panicking Lu Han’s expression_ _remains as his all-time favorite._ ]

“So, Noodle- _gege_ , what did you get Yuan-ie?”

Lu Han gulps. He subtly tries to feel his pants’ pockets and from the looks of it, he doesn’t have even a decent bill to give off as a money present. The stares he was receiving from Chanyeol, Jongin, and Kyungsoo weren’t helping him either.

“Mr. Park! Sehun-ah!”

He lets out a sigh he didn’t even know he was holding. Thank god the Mina girl decided to intervene at the most appropriate timing; although Lu Han didn’t quite appreciate the scene of her marching up to Sehun and greeting him with a kiss on the cheek. Lu Han unconsciously balled his fists at the sight as he slowly began to fade into the background – Sehun looking too thrilled to chat with the girl alongside Yuan’s father, Kyungsoo, and Jongin.

_‘So much for claiming to have missed me when you sound like you’re having more fun talking to h – wait wHAT-’_

Appalled by his own thoughts, Lu Han softly slapped himself. “What the hell was that?” He bites his lip at the sight of Sehun talking animatedly with Mina, the younger’s crescent-shaped eyes crinkling as he laughed at probably something the girl had said. She appeared to be quite close with the Kims, Yuan’s father, and even Sehun himself as she conversed with them so cheerily. Lu Han felt his throat constrict and he figured that he had to get out of there as fast as he can. He never felt like he fit in there in the first place.

_‘I should probably just go and find some shop where I can buy presents. Yeah... I should do that.’_

And so, he slinks his way out of the function hall without bothering to inform Sehun. He’ll be coming back after, anyway.

~~And it’s not like Sehun was his dad nor his lover or anything for Lu Han to feel obligated to tell him of his whereabouts.~~

He reaches the hall just in front of the elevators the same time he hears Sehun call out to him.

“Lu Han!” _‘Ugh. He sure is quick. Come down faster already, you damn elevator!’_ chanted the smaller inside his head as he feigned ignorance to Sehun's voice and began to aggressively press the ‘down’ button as if it would make the carrying platform go any faster.

The door to the function hall seemed to have been pushed open and that was Lu Han’s cue to panic all the more because there resounded the familiar squeaking of Sehun’s shoes in a haste to chase after him and his lone braincell was screaming nothing else but _‘fckfckfck, don’t you dare follow me stay away my chest is gonna explode if you come any nearer i swear to goD –_ ‘

_PING!_

Lu Han held his breath as the elevators doors parted open and he jumped a little as he prepared to go in. _‘Fucking finally!’_ Tough luck was on his side, however; because the elevator appeared to be a little crowded due to the two empty patient beds crammed on both sides.

But at this point, the frizzy-haired male could care less. He needed to get out of there fast and find some breathing space outside because “ _Lu Han, wait! Where are you going?”_

Shaking his head, the 28-year-old plugs on his headphones and fights to squeeze himself inside the remaining space, totally tuning out Sehun who appeared to have already jogged in a hurry as he noticed Lu Han entering the elevator. Lu Han crams himself easily into a little corner and lets out a sigh of relief. He’s safe for now.

“Wait, please!”

_Or so he thought_.

A hand got in between the elevator doors and startled everyone, most especially Lu Han.

“Dr. Oh! Oh no, I’m so sorry!” one of the nurses, who was nearer to the buttons, exclaimed. She presses ‘open’ and the doors reveal Sehun’s disheveled yet still impeccably flawless face. An old lady suddenly moved to the side and left a vacant space for the pediatrician to step in and Lu Han never felt so betrayed in his entire life. _‘I had to squeeze myself in earlier when they could actually make some space, what the hell?’_

“Thank you, ahjumma,” Sehun says with a thankful smile as he slots himself inside the cramped space, finding himself chest-to-chest with Lu Han’s small stature. Lu Han didn’t dare lift his head because who knows how near Sehun’s face was to his. Judging by how they could basically feel the heat radiating off each other, the probability that he might accidentally kiss Sehun’s neck once he tilts even a slight of his head was highly likely.

And so, Lu Han clears his throat before browsing through his phone and deciding to turn up the volume of his headphones, ignoring Sehun’s scalding gaze and the fact that the younger basically had him trapped in between his arms because Sehun had to hold onto the elevator rails so as not to lose his balance.

The agony didn’t even end there because an emergency personnel had to ride alongside them from the 4th floor hence, cramming Lu Han even closer towards Sehun to the point that they had no choice but to stick further to each other.

_The moon is shining bright_

_The mood is feeling right_

_I’ll kiss you on your neck_

_People will stare but we won’t care_

Lu Han catches Sehun bobbing his head and opening his mouth in what seemed to be subtle singing and he gets rid of one of his headphones to flash the younger a confused look. The song escapes from his headphones and softly reverberates throughout the whole cramped elevator; but that became the least of Lu Han’s concern when Sehun albeit still a little out of breath suddenly smiled and leaned down to mumble into his ear, voice an octave lower as he recited the next lyrics:

_“Did you think you’d persuade me to let you go?”_

Lu Han turns off his headphones then ㅡ _'fuck Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and their slapping cringey songs!'_ ㅡ before breaking past the younger as soon as the doors opened up to the ground floor. Sehun follows after him gleefully, not forgetting to greet the other elevator passengers an advanced _‘Merry Christmas!’_ before brisk-walking after Lu Han.

“Hey, wait for me!”

~~~

"Why are you here?"

"Hm?"

"You shouldn't be down here with me. Why did you leave the event? The kids will be looking for you!" Lu Han scolded, eyes narrowed disapprovingly as he shot Sehun a dismayed stare. Faint Christmas songs filled every nook and cranny of the antique shop they were in and Sehun seemed to be quite enjoying himself as he glossed over a rack of snow globes.

"I could say the same for you," the young doctor responds. "It's not nice to just leave like that, you know. One moment I take my eyes off you and you're suddenly gone like the wind. I almost lost my composure back there trying to look for you. Good thing Yuan saw you go out of the ha - _oh, this one looks nice!_ "

Lu Han just shakes his head as he watches Sehun turn on the switch on the snow globe, the latter's eyes sparkling in amazement as the little elf figurine inside the globe began to twirl while blowing snow all over. "If you want that one, pay for it yourself. I'm going to find something else that Yuan can play with." And then he was off to the shelf of reindeer plushies.

Lu Han was just in the middle of deciding whether to get the one tagged as Dasher or Comet when a familiar hand shot out from behind him to take one plushie. A ridiculous smile was plastered on Sehun's face as he held up Rudolph near the otherwise unimpressed Lu Han.

"How cute, he looks just like you. Big, sparkly eyes and a red nose!" Lu Han rolls his eyes.

"Rudolph is overrated. Let's get something else."

"How about Prancer for Meilin, Vixen for Yena, and Dasher for Yuan?"

"Hm. Sounds decent enough to me. I need to get stuff for Yixing and Tao, too. Doctor Wu as well, maybe. And oh right, Junmyeon. Geez, I almost forgot about him..." Lu Han starts to roam his eyes around the shop absent-mindedly. He's never really been a fan of Christmas and the act of giving away presents; heck, he doesn’t even know the basics of picking out proper gifts, but since he's already in the midst of it anyway who was he to be dumb enough not to go ahead with it? He’s doing this just this one time, of course.

The 28-year-old finishes dumping anything decent for a present inside the basket which Sehun was carrying for him, oblivious to the way Sehun was watching him with his default ‘^_^’ face and a fond look in his eyes. They exit the shop soon after buying the items and begin to walk back to the hospital along a rather dim alley. Lu Han was in the middle of double checking the contents of the paper bags when he realized one important thing:

He forgot to buy his own companion a present.

Mentally facepalming himself, Lu Han turns around to flash the other an apologetic look. "…Err, Coffee? Or would you like to go back inside so you can pick something you like? Don't worry, I'll pay for it."

Sehun tilts his head at him, obviously confused. Lu Han scratches his temple out of embarrassment as he says "Sorry. I kind of forgot to get something… for _you_. If you want, we can go back inside...?" he offers unsurely, although he didn't know what to make of the expression on Sehun's face. "Or do you have any other ideas in mind? Something else you want for a present? Maybe I can try to get it for you."

Sehun seemed to have finally understood what he was talking about when the doctor's eyes lit up in realization. After which, the taller just chuckled before shaking his head. "It's alright, sweetcheeks. You don't need to get me anything. I'm content enough just by accompanying you."

Lu Han reddens profusely though he tries to cough it off. "You sure? I mean, we need to get back to the hall ASAP but I don't want you to feel like I dragged you here to be a slave without compensation. You know I don't like owing people things… If you have something you like in mind, you can tell me. I'm willing to go back to the shop if that's the case."

They just stood there in the middle of the dim alley facing each other for an awkward number of seconds. Lu Han wanted to convince himself that Sehun was trying to think hard of what he wanted for a present because the younger seemed to be much deep in thought as variations of a flicker danced across his clear orbs.

After a few more seconds, Sehun seemed to have finally reached a conclusion as he shot Lu Han a soft smile.

"Alright, I remember now. I did have something I like back there."

Lu Han's eyes lit up in curiosity. "Which one? The snow globe?" Sehun shook his head with a laugh. "The Blitzen plushie?" Another shake of the head. Lu Han was starting to grow frustrated as he wracked his brain trying to remember the items displayed in the shop as well as the ones Sehun spent some ample time tinkering with. "Huh? The candy cane lamp? Or maybe the grandpa clock? But that's too expensive, though…?" 

"Lucky for you, no I don't want that huge-ass expensive clock," Sehun snickered, eyes folding into their trademark crescents as he laughed at Lu Han's bewildered face. "Think carefully, sweetcheeks. The answer is closer than you think."

"Are you sure you saw it back there in the shop?"

"Positive," Sehun confirmed with a smile. The gears in Lu Han's brain started spewing every single thing that he can remember inside the shop ㅡ all of which ended with a 'no' and an amused chuckle from Sehun. Even the ugly-looking pens with glowing furballs attached to them were not it, despite Sehun displaying a childish desire to buy them earlier.

Tired of guessing, Lu Han unceremoniously shoves the two paper bags filled with presents towards Sehun. The pediatrician struggled to balance them all as he shot Lu Han a look of surprise. “Whatever. I’m just gonna go back in there and find you something you might like. Stay here.” Lu Han was just about to walk back into the shop when Sehun managed to stop him by holding him by the wrist.

“Xiao Lu wait, no,” Sehun beckoned with a chuckle as he pulled Lu Han back to where he was standing before him. The skater boy’s face morphed into a mix of confusion and frustration.

“What now?” Lu Han grumbled underneath his breath. “You’ve been laughing at me since earlier, what’s so funny about this? Mind you, I’m being 100% genuine here.”

“ _Baby_ , of course I know that.”

“Then why the hell do you keep laughing at me? And for the umpteenth time, I’m _not_ your freaking baby!”

Sehun releases Lu Han’s wrist to fix the two paper bags in his arms. Lu Han on the other hand wanted so badly to punch off the blinding smile decorating Sehun’s ~~handsome~~ face. “Sorry, it’s a _habit_ –“

“- _of yours that you got from talking to kids all the time_ , yeah okay doc, I get it,” the 28-year-old finished with an exasperated sigh, moving this time to cross his arms to confront the other. “Would you mind telling me what’s so funny about this whole thing, now? You’ve been smiling and laughing at me since earlier I’m actually perturbed your jaw still doesn’t feel numb.”

“Well, for starters,” Sehun clears his throat. “How can I not smile when I’m with the person _I like_? And he even wants to get me something for Christmas even though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like Christmas at all…”

Lu Han’s snarky tongue retreated in astonishment. _Goddamn you Oh Sehun and your flawless sweet talking!_

"Secondly, you're just so bad at this entire guessing thing. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel like I was laughing at you but I just can’t help but be amused by the thought that you actually forgot the one thing I like the most.”

_The one thing Sehun likes the most…?_

Lu Han registers Sehun’s intent affectionate gaze on him and then… after two, three skipped beats of his stupidly malfunctioning heart, reality engulfs him like a wildfire. Lu Han immediately pinks at the realization.

_Of course._

_Of course it had to be no one else but himself that Sehun liked the most._

"I know I may sound like an impatient, desperate bastard for this because it hasn't even been a month nor half a month of me trying to pursue you but Lu Han," Sehun bites his lip, nervousness evident on his face and his mouth opening and closing unsurely as if trying to form the right words.

"Lu Han, I really _like_ you."

He knew that was the moment he was supposed to reply – the part where he tells Sehun that he actually felt the same way, that somewhere in between the chasing Lu Han had finally gotten tired of sassing Sehun out and running away from his feelings, and that he had also fallen irrevocably in love with the younger despite the short amount of time Sehun had worked for to earn his favor.

In the first place, Sehun didn’t even need to take too much time to ‘officially’ earn Lu Han’s affection.

The spark had already been ignited the first time they crossed paths in that damned emergency ward, and the chain reaction of several more chance encounters simply triggered it to burst like colorful fireworks right in front of their face. There were simply no more reasons to run away. The answer was already standing right in front of him, embodied by Sehun whom Lu Han had finally come to realize he had fallen so deeply in love with.

_Fine. You win. I lose._

_I like you too, Oh Sehun_.

But none of those words were able to successfully escape Lu Han’s mouth when the magical moment instead turned into a nightmare, his supposed affirmation of Sehun’s feelings getting lodged inside his throat and instead released as a restrained scream into the dead of the night.

It happened way too fast he didn’t have the chance to retaliate. Sehun’s eyes had fearfully settled on something behind him before Lu Han felt himself being whipped around and caged protectively in the younger’s arms.

And then there was the sound of a painful thump, one that can only be indicative of something heavy and metallic hitting flesh and bones, that echoed into the night.

“Sehun…?” Lu Han mumbled in shock against the fabric of Sehun’s sweatshirt, eyes wide in fear as he heard the sound of metal paired with fading guiltless cackles bounce against the asphalt and the walls of the dim alley. Lu Han doesn’t know if it had just been a figment of his imagination but he swears Sehun managed to whisper out his name before letting out a pained grunt.

“Sehun...” Lu Han repeated, the horror of it all finally registering in his head, as he felt the Sehun’s weight lag against his. “No… no, no, no, Sehun! Fuck, no,” Lu Han began to yell in a hoarse voice. He clutches tightly onto the other’s lolling head as they crash onto the wet asphalt and feels a familiar warmth seep against his fingers. Warmth coming from Sehun… _Blood_ …

“Oh Sehun,” Lu Han cried out. “Why did you do that you idiot don’t close your eyes, I - I’ll go get help stay with me –“

Sehun’s eyes blink open weakly as he tries to settle his gaze on Lu Han’s terrified face.

Lu Han gasps as he sees blood trickle down onto the pavement. “Fuck, you’re losing blood! Don’t close your eyes, I’ll bring you back to the hospital I already called an ambulance – “

A cold hand on his wrist stops Lu Han from rambling further and losing his voice. Sehun wipes away a lone tear from the corner of his eye before flashing Lu Han’s blurry face a weak smile. “Lu Han…” he says. “Hey… don’t cry... I’ll.. be fine.. _” ‘I have to be. Because I need to hear you say ‘it.’_

And then his hand slips back down onto the concrete as he loses consciousness.

A tick of the hand and the clock finally strikes 12. The calendar moves forward to _17 th December_.

It was another day closer to Christmas, another day to put up more decorations, host corporate parties, and share gingerbread cookies near the fireplace.

But Lu Han wasn’t able to and didn’t bother to do any of those, just like how he had been doing in the past 20 years of his life. Instead, for the first time in his life, he quietly prayed to God, or to Santa, or whichever sort of mythical being even existed out there, that Oh Sehun would be fine.

_‘He’ll be fine,’_ the skater boy tries to convince himself, hands and clothes splattered with faint streaks of both blood and snow as he watched an unconscious Sehun get pulled in by the stretcher into the emergency room. Funny how this time, the young pediatrician wasn’t going to be the one to treat an injured person and give away candies as a reward. Sehun was the one in pain, bleeding, and unconscious this time around.

And Lu Han can only hope, with tears threatening to spill out of his eyes, that Sehun would come out alive after tonight.

_‘You better be fine,’_ Lu Han whispers into the night as he sees snow begin to heavily fall outside the hospital windows. His hold on the paper bag of presents tightens as he fights the urge not to break down right in the middle of hall. _‘You can’t die on me, Oh Sehun… You better be fine.’_

Soon enough, Sehun’s hospital colleagues began to flock towards the surgery room, pacing back and forth as they murmured worriedly among themselves. Even Kyungsoo, Jongin, and Yuan’s father were there as they glanced at each other with sadness, appalled by the news because it all seemed so surreal. Sehun was doing completely fine earlier, it was difficult to digest the fact that in a matter of hours he was suddenly fighting for his life.

And on a supposedly joyous day, at that.

Lu Han bites his lip as he attempts to keep away from the conversation of Sehun’s colleagues, trying his best not to mind the stares that were being sent his way. He didn’t dare confirm for himself but he had an inkling some of them were sending him scornful glares. He couldn’t blame them, though. Guilt itself was already gnawing at Lu Han’s guts, eating away at his conscience the more he tries to replay what had transpired earlier. _What ifs_ and _if onlys_ began to flood his head. But more so of the _who_ because he didn’t get to see the bastards that dared to harm them earlier.

The click-clack of frantic heels breaks him out of his melancholic stupor and Lu Han subtly raises his head to look at the newly arrived visitor.

It was a female doctor, surrounded by a bunch of other veteran fellow physicians and looking to be somewhere in her middle-aged years – short, bobbed hair, nose perfectly sculpted, and cherry red lips. Her eyes were stormy as she sent everyone in the hall a knowing glare. There was a certain aura to her stance, gravely intimidating as no one dared raise their head to look her straight in the eye. From his peripheral vision, Lu Han managed to read the embroidered name on her pristine white coat:

_Dr. Hyun-jin Seo: Seoul National Hospital President, Chief Doctor Emergency Medicine Department._

When it was clear that she had established her presence within the hall, given her dignified stance and authority that makes all the other resident doctors cower to their knees, the woman then turned to Dr. Wu with a cold gaze.

“ _Where is my son?”_

What she uttered next made Lu Han’s heart stop beating:

_“Where is Oh Sehun?”_


	5. Chapter 5

**V: And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear**

**Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?**

* * *

****

“Where is _Oh Sehun_?”

“Auntie – “

“ _Dr. Wu,”_ the woman reiterated with a biting tone, prompting Yifan to shrink back into his position and clear his throat.

“ _President_ Seo,” Yifan mumbled before offering a curt bow. “Sehun – _Dr. Oh_ is being tended to by Dr. Kim. He’s… currently in there,” he points reluctantly towards the large gray double doors, the words ‘Emergency’ vibrantly illuminated right above it to indicate that an operation was currently ongoing. Displease drew itself across the woman, Hyun Jin’s, face as she finally confirmed that it was indeed her son who had gotten hurt –

her son, **the president of the hospital and chief of the emergency medicine department’s son** … who turned out to be none other than _Oh Sehun_.

Lu Han can’t believe he had been totally kept in the dark about information as crucial as this.

“Would you please tell me how in the world did this happen? Why was he in that godforsaken alleyway?! What was he doing in there?” Lu Han felt himself growing smaller every second the more he listened to the woman’s acidic tone. “I won’t be getting any answer if you just stare back at me like that stupidly, _Wu Yifan_ ,” she whispered harshly, enough to instigate a nervous gulp from Dr. Wu.

“Have I become too lenient with him again that he’d dare to engage in unscrupulous street fights now? Was he in dispute with a hoodlum?” Yifan shakes his head. “Then why is he in there? I’ve given him enough freedom to host all kinds of shenanigans in this hospital, why couldn’t he stay put in here and just do his usual job?”

“Auntie – “

“Don’t you _‘auntie’_ me right now. I demand answers! Who dared do this to him?!”

“Auntie, it’s not easy to explain – “

“What about _this_ is not easy to explain?!”

“Auntie, _please_ – “

“ _It was because of me, ma’am,”_ Lu Han intervened.

Gasps fill the entire hall as the unruly-looking skater boy with unkempt clothes keeps his head low and suddenly slumps himself on his knees in front of the stern woman. Lu Han bows so lowly that his forehead touches the marble floors. Tears start to prickle from his eyelids and his voice shakes as he utters: “Your son got hurt because of me. I am deeply sorry.”

“ _Who are you_?” The woman’s voice was cold as it dawned on him from above. Lu Han pathetically wipes away the tears pooling from his eyes as he lifts his head to meet her gaze. She and Sehun shared the same pair of eyes, only that hers was much more indifferent and calculating whilst Sehun’s was always radiating with warmth and happiness. There was a judging aura to her gaze as she raked her eyes up and down Lu Han’s form and her face darkened even more once she saw the blood stains on his shirt.

“Were you there with him when the assault happened?” Lu Han nods weakly.

“Then what is your relationship with him? Who are you to Sehun?” – _that question_ , Lu Han suddenly could not answer. The words were jumbled in his throat, circling at the tip of his tongue but never making it pass his lips. The guilt felt like an invisible noose wrapped around his neck.

_‘Your son claims to like me. And I have just recently come to admit that I like him too,’_ was what Lu Han had wanted to say. But as he takes one last glance at the woman’s apathetic face and the dismayed stares of Sehun’s colleagues being sent his way, he couldn’t help but succumb to the reality and hang his head back down, trampling the last bit of his pride as he internally murmured apology after apology.

_‘But I realize now that it’s impossible for us to happen. Sehun was much more than what I thought he was and I will never be worthy of someone like him_.’

Lu Han could only convey those words briefly through his pain-filled eyes. Because after long agonizing hours of waiting, the metal doors had finally parted open and a man clad in blue walks out of it with a somber look in his eyes. For a second there, everyone held their breaths as they awaited the news.

_“It’s fine now. Dr. Oh is going to be okay.”_

Relieved sighs collectively filled the hallway as Dr. Jongdae flashed them all a warm smile.

~~~~

Sehun had a dream.

In that dream, he was back to his 20-year-old self: all lanky arms, thin waist, and pure mischievousness jam-packed into a genius medical student who knew since the beginning he had set foot into med school that he would become a doctor for little kids.

In that dream, Sehun was his usual carefree self – much more stubborn and unstoppable, even. He was as unpredictable and fleeting as the colors of his hair: one moment he’d be red, the next day he’s blonde, and on most days he was a vibrant rainbow. In his dream however, Sehun was his 20-year-old silver-haired self, an infuriatingly stunning machine gun of questions that was a thorn in every professor’s chest because _‘by dear gods, does that kid ever run out of things to ask and say?!’_

Sehun enjoyed reading his case studies about patient A who was born with patent ductus arteriosus and patient B who suffers from laryngotracheobronchitis with radiography results exhibiting the steeple sign. He loved demonstrating resuscitation protocols and learning about child psychology. He admired Jean Piaget and questioned the morals of Jonas Salk.

Sehun absolutely loved medicine and science, it was only his grandmother’s incessant decisions to randomly set him up for blind dates every Christmas that he did _not_ love.

“ _Wu Shixun_ , you come back here this instant!” Grandma Oh would always exclaim and Sehun would only flash her his apologetic toothy smile, fixing his glasses atop his perfectly sculpted nose before dashing off to god knows where, his supposed date for the night left once more flabbergasted as he bounced off to wherever his long legs would take him.

Sehun knew it was just Grandma Oh wanting to make sure he won’t die an old bachelor because of the stringency of the profession he chose.

But Sehun is barely 2 years into adulthood! He doesn’t have plans of starting a romantic relationship, much less find himself unknowingly fancying someone. He wants to graduate first and earn the M.D. to his name, help little kids recover from their sickness and radiate happiness everywhere.

Love will happen once it hits Sehun in the face. There’s no need to rush over _it_ –

_*CRASH!_

“ _Hey, watch where you’re going!”_

“What the hell, I should be the one saying that! ‘ _Watch where you’re going_ ’ right back at you, you dumbass! Geez…”

Sehun tries to get up using his elbows – _shit, the cement is cold as hell! -_ but it accidentally causes him to be closer face to face with the person he had just bumped into. He was able to make out a pair of angry eyes and a small freckle above the right eyebrow before he found himself harshly landing back down on the asphalt. Sehun doubts he can make snow angels out of a bunch of pebbles digging right onto his skin.

“ _That hurt! Why did you push me?!”_

“You were too close, you idiot.” The person grumbled before dusting off his pants and picking up his skateboard. Fortunately, with the slightest hint of remorse, he offered a hand towards Sehun and helped him up. “Next time, don’t go running around like you’re butt-naked. I could’ve gotten a serious concussion from that fall, you know. I doubt you’d be willing to pay for my hospital bills either!”

Sehun was able to make out an unkempt curly hair, cheap-looking jacket and torn jeans finished off with worn Converse shoes before he eventually sighed. “It’s impossible to get concussion from that angle. You would’ve gotten one if your cranium had been tilted at least a good 20 degrees and your scapula were awkwardly tense but no. You even made me cushion your fall and I had to bear the brunt of the impact.”

The stranger looked at him for a while as if he had grown two heads.

“You… You’re a science geek, aren’t you?”

“I’m a medical student aspiring to become a pediatrician in the future, I do hope you don’t see it fit to underestimate me just because of my appearance and the manner by which I talk.”

There was another moment of silence before a burst of laughter suddenly emanated from the skater boy. Sehun was appalled by the reaction but suddenly found himself unable to take his eyes away from the… _odd sight_.

“You don’t look like one. But you look pretty badass, nice hair you got there by the way. You know what, here you can have this.” He gives Sehun a small broken snow globe. Sehun reluctantly looks up to flash him a _‘what the heck do I do with this?’_ look but he was instead greeted with another snort.

“Are you a creep? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I have bad eyesight and I left my glasses behind.”

The stranger just hums and Sehun is unsure if he had believed him or not.

“Oh well, since you broke it after dragging me to the concrete earlier you can just give it away, throw it in the trash or whatever. I don’t have any use for it anymore anyway,” the person said with a shrug and a thrift smile before standing up to pat him in the shoulder. It took Sehun a brief second of recovery from his surprise because ‘ _what the hell I think I just had arrhythmia after seeing him smile’_ before he shook his head and eventually called after the boy.

“Hey!”

The stranger turns around, skateboard skidded to a stop, before tilting his head at him. From this view, Sehun could hardly make out the features of his face but he figures he would need not those anymore because _that_ smile would be haunting him even in his sleep.

In the first place, he didn’t even know how he ended up in here. All he knows is that he had found a loophole against his grandma’s security guards earlier and managed to ditch his blind date for this year’s Christmas season – blazer and glasses left behind by the table be damned.

Eventually, Sehun realized that his panicked feet had ended up dragging him to some small park with a frozen fountain in the middle and a bunch of warm fairy lights decorating the surrounding trees. He had been so caught up in wanting to escape Grandma Oh and his faceless blind date for the night that he unknowingly bumped into a chilling skater boy and sent him toppling down with him to the concrete.

And so at a loss for words and with a certain foreign feeling blooming in his chest, Sehun blurted out rather stupidly as the first Christmas snow of that year began to fall from the sky:

“ _When can I see you again_?”

To which the stranger’s reaction remained vague as he playfully answered back with a shout:

_“I don’t know. Go ask Santa!”_

Later that night as Grandma Oh finally found her rebellious grandson sitting idly by the bus stop, Sehun had gotten into her limousine without a word, the broken snow globe held tightly within his hands.

“Grandma?”

“Hm? What is it, my dear grandson?”

Sehun mulls over his thoughts for a while as he struggles to find the right words. He looks outside the car’s tinted window and finds that it was starting to snow quite heavily, every street basically littered with dazzling lights and Christmas trees. He remembers the stranger’s face and the sound of his obnoxious laughter like it had been permanently imprinted on the back of his mind. “Is it possible to like someone when you just met them for the first time? And without even a chance of ever seeing them again?”

At those words, Grandma Oh seemed to have been taken aback but it gradually softened into a smile as she reached out to pat her grandson’s silver hair. “Oh my, what is this? Is my Sehunnie finally willing to try dating someone now?”

Sehun seemed to have felt embarrassed upon hearing that as he shook his head. “I just don’t think it’d be necessary for you to keep the blind date tradition starting from today onwards. I barely show up in them, anyway.”

The old lady smiles knowingly at her grandson, as if she could read right through his facial expressions. Well, years of being a veteran in her work as a psychiatrist predisposes her to easily recognize the face of a person in love, after all. “As you wish then my dear, but first you might want to spill? What happened while you were gone? This is the first time you’re formally asking this of me. Grandma is a little curious.”

The 20-year-old looks down onto the snow globe in his hand, wishing _him_ well in his journey as he engraved the initials ‘XLH, RPT’ over and over again in his head, before keeping it safely snug in his blazer’s pocket.

“I met someone earlier, Grandma... It was a brief encounter, but I have a feeling we’ll cross paths again someday.”

And even if it took years, an exact seven at that, before Sehun finally had the chance to meet _him_ again, he never once complained to God nor Santa for granting him his wish way, way later in his life.

Granted, he was a little confused and surprised to see him as a grumpy patient in the emergency ward rather than the physical therapist Sehun had envisioned him to be but Sehun found that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

_He_ was there and they did cross paths again seven years later. That was what mattered to him the most.

_“Xiao Lu Han?”_

The boy had sent him a wary look before replying in a dubious tone. _“What?”_

And even though it was slightly disappointing to realize that Lu Han no longer remembered him, Sehun still held his ground and felt the butterflies in his peritoneum flap in glee, utterly glad to have finally met the skater boy again albeit in the emergency ward after seven full years of unfulfilled Christmas wishes.

Sehun closes the in-patient clipboard with a soft thump as he flashes Lu Han a warm smile.

“ _I checked the patient logbook. You come to the ER regularly. Do you mind if I dress your wounds?”_

~~~~

When Sehun woke up, his vision had been painstakingly blurred and groggy.

It took him a while to focus his eyes on his surroundings, eventually recognizing the small garland hanging by the corner of the room and the familiar set of ceiling lights that told him he was in a VIP room of SNH. He scans more of his environment before letting out a groan at a sudden headache.

“Sehun-ah…” a soft suprised voice suddenly uttered from beside him. It was only during that moment that Sehun realized he was actually not alone. Mina was there beside him, appearing to have just woken up from a nap and she had her hand comfortingly holding his the entire time. “Sehun-ah, oh my gosh I’m so glad you’re awake.” There were tears falling from her eyes as she brought Sehun’s hand to her face and nuzzled it with relief.

Sehun flashes her an assuring nod. “H-how…” his throat felt parched as he fought to let out the words. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Two days,” Mina confirmed sadly. “You really made us all worry when we heard the news that you were rushed in here unconscious, you know. Auntie was so close to flipping a table at Yifan days prior. It was a good thing your wound wasn’t that serious, Dr. Kim said you’d be up and about in no time.”

Mina helps him sit up and Sehun sees his own reflection in the window. He apparently had a small bandage wrapped around his head, at the exact spot where the metal bat had hit him and knocked him unconscious and bleedi – “ _Lu Han…”_ Sehun suddenly mumbled, eyes wide as he remembered the skater boy’s tear-streaked face before he succumbed to darkness. He turns to Mina who was busy pouring him a cup of water.

“Lu Han… where is he?”

_“You should drink some water first, Sehun-ah.”_

“Where is Lu Han? Was he with me when I got rushed in here?”

“ _Sehun – “_

“Mina… I need to see him. Please.”

“ _Sehun, you just woke up. Dr. Kim said you shouldn’t be straining yourself – “_

Frustrated at the lack of response, Sehun harshly pulls off the IV line before swinging his legs over to the side of the bed. His eyes were filled with immense worry as he hung the IV bag on a pole and struggled to wear his hospital slippers. An evident wince was plastered on Sehun’s face as he fought against the pain pounding against his skull. It felt as if the pain was clashing with his thoughts that were filled with nothing else but _Lu Han_.

“No, I – you don’t understand. Please. I want to, I need to see _him_ right now. Is he alright? Did he get hurt as well? I won’t be able to forgive myself if he –“

_“Sehun-ah, please don’t be like this. You’ve barely recovered from your injury – “_

“I don’t care! I want to see him!” He yelled, startling the poor girl who dropped the cup of water on the floor as a consequence. Sehun himself seemed to have been stunned by his own actions but he wasn’t able to apologize for it when the door suddenly slid open, revealing the face of a woman he knew so well.

“ _You are not going anywhere and that is final._ ”

“Mother…” Sehun mumbled, surprised. “ _How_ … why are you here?”

Hyun-jin sighed before pinching the bridge of her nose. Although she is usually a stern and indifferent woman, right now her entire form was vulnerable as she flashed Sehun a sad gaze. “Are you really asking me, your _own mother_ , as to why am I here? Do I not have the right to worry about my own son now, Oh Sehun?” Sehun bit his lip in shame.

“I know you wish to keep a low profile and work your way to the top through your own efforts. And I have been silently respecting that these past years. But you can’t expect me to still not bat an eyelash when you get involved in something dangerous!” Hyun-jin explained, settling down on the leather sofa. Mina takes that chance to quietly slip out of the room, a somber look on her eyes as she closed the door on the mother and son. Sehun made a mental note to apologize to her later.

“Your grandmother has been looking forward to meet you on the 24th – just like how it has always been for the family every Christmas. Had you still not woken up tonight, how was I supposed to tell her that her grandson had been victimized by a pack of hoodlums in a dim alley only a few blocks away from the hospital? And all that just to protect a mere _street kid_?”

Sehun’s eyes darkened. “He’s not a mere street kid. He works at a skate shop downtown and his name is Lu Han.”

“And now you’re even protecting him?” The woman’s voice was bitter as she spat out the next words. “Lu Han or whoever he is, I don’t care. I want you to stay away from him.”

Sehun’s heart dropped to the pits of his stomach. “No. I can’t do that – “

“That boy had put your life in danger and you still want to hang out with him? You are out of your mind if you think I’d still let him anywhere near you!”

“Mother, please – “

“No, Sehun. You will rest tonight and stop concerning yourself over that friend of yours.”

“But it wasn’t his fault. I protected him out of my own free will because I didn’t want him to get hurt!”

“You wouldn’t have had to do that in the first place if you just stayed put at that damned Christmas event you were so adamantly pushing for and didn’t bother accompanying him to that stupid alley!”

“He didn’t force me to go with him. Lu Han never had a say in all this. It was all me!”

“Why would you even go through such lengths just for that boy?!”

“ _Because I’m in love with him!”_ Sehun finally huffed out, tears of frustration pooling across his lids as his mother’s shocked face appeared before him.

“… Because I love him, mother. I love Lu Han. And I want to be with him. I got myself into _this_ ,” he points to the bandage on his head “ – because at that moment, I just knew I had to protect him. I wouldn’t be able to live with it if he got hurt right in front of my eyes.”

Hyun-jin stared at him for a long while before eventually standing up and silently making her way out of the room. Before she closed the door however, her tone was cold and unrelenting as she bade her son her final words: “… You have lost your mind.”

Sehun winced at the sound of the door sliding close right in front of his face. And then the prickling headache comes back, stronger than ever as it stabs into the peripheries of his cranium. His vision blurs as he staggers around and ends up landing back down on the bed, clutching onto his temples as he groans in pain.

He was able to make out the silhouette of a doctor and group of nurses rushing into his room and yelling his name before he noticed a small figure right outside his door, looking back at him with a pair of guilt-stricken eyes and hunched shoulders. “… _Lu Han…”_ Sehun reached out once he had finally been settled back into bed. ‘Lu Han’ then stepped in and closer to him, gently holding his hand.

“Stupid,” the smaller had whispered shakily. “You’re the one who’s in pain right now. Stop worrying about me all the time. I can take care of myself.” Sehun didn’t know if it was a hiccup or a sob but he found the sound coming from Lu Han so heartbreaking that his grasp unconsciously tightened.

“Close your eyes, Oh Sehun.”

_‘I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up.’_

And at those assuring words, he once more let himself succumb to the darkness.

~~~

This time, Sehun didn’t have a dream.

He didn’t see himself going back to years ago, to his 18, 19 nor 20-year-old silver-haired self. Sehun didn’t dream and woke up simply as himself: a 27-year-old pediatrician who was currently lying on the hospital bed trying to recover from an injury he acquired from trying to protect the person he loves.

And this person he can confirm that he really does love, because Lu Han had kept true to his promise and stayed with Sehun till he woke up. The clock reads 6:30 AM of 20th December. The sunrise is just beginning to set into the room, and it does a fantastic job at doing so when it slowly sheds light on Lu Han’s sleeping form, basking him in a warm morning glow as he snores softly hunched right next to Sehun’s bed.

He moves a frail hand to trace Lu Han’s features: his dark frizzy locks, the freckle right above his eyebrow, his cute button nose, and the plump curve of his lower lip. Sehun commits every single detail to memory, his heart pounding against his ribcage because he feels so much for the man beside him he feels like any time soon his feelings would come gushing out like a waterfall.

“ _Wo ai ni_ ,” the words felt so foreign against his tongue but at the same time, they felt so right. They _sound_ so right whenever he tests them out while looking at Lu Han. He does not and will never regret putting himself in danger for him that night. Because as he laid there and admired Lu Han’s peaceful sleeping face, Sehun realized he wouldn’t dream to be anywhere else.

Their hands fit together so perfectly he never wants to let go.

“… _Hun_.”

“ _Appa, when will Hun-hyung wake up? Yuan-ie misses playing with him.”_

_“Sshh, Yuan-ah. Dr. Oh is still sleeping.”_

_“What that on Hun head? He have boo-boo?”_

_“Yes, baby. Hun-oppa got hurt so let him rest, okay? Behave, Kim Yena.”_

There was a series of more hushed whispers as Sehun began to open his eyes. The first thing he recognizes is that the room was unusually crowded, that it was already 11 in the morning, and that there were lots of eyes currently gazing down at his form on the bed. Chanyeol, Jongin and Kyungsoo, and their kids.

“What…” Sehun rasps out as he tries to sit up and rub the sleep away from his eyes. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Hun-hyung, you awake!” Yuan suddenly bellowed, the kid’s nose basically running down with snot as Chanyeol sets him down on Sehun’s bed and he begins to crawl excitedly to launch for a warm hug. “Yuan-ie missed you. You didn’t see me open my presents on party!” Sehun smiles weakly at the tyke as he ruffles his hair.

“I’m sorry, Hun-hyung got busy.”

Yuan just shakes his head before whipping out a small familiar deer plushie from his Ironman backpack. Sehun’s eyes lit up in recognition. “It okay. Yuan-ie not mad. And Noodle- _gege_ got me present anyway. He said you bought together for Yuan-ie!”

“Yena have Noodle- _gege_ present too! _Kitchen_ is pwetty!”

“It’s _Vixen_ , baby, not Kitchen,” Jongin corrected his little girl with a soft chuckle before turning to Sehun with relieved eyes. “I’m glad your injuries weren’t that serious, Sehun-ah. You almost gave us all a heart attack, you know.”

“That’s so true,” Kyungsoo added, settling a large basket of fruits atop the bedside table. He sighs as he leans right next to his husband. “You should’ve seen your mother’s face when she arrived in front of the surgery room. It was enough to give us all shivers down our spine. Not to mention, _Lu_ _H_ –“ A squeeze on his waist and Kyungsoo’s mouth suddenly clamped shut.

“I - I mean, nevermind. _Hehe_. We’re just glad you’re okay now, Sehun. Really.”

“We didn’t mean to disturb your slumber but the kids have been begging since yesterday to see you. I’m sorry if we woke you up,” Chanyeol said as he picks Yuan back up and settles him in his arms. Sehun just replies with a thrift _‘it’s fine’_ as he entertains Yena who was fondly playing with her deer plushie. A comfortable silence temporarily wraps the four colleagues together before the slide of the door signaled the arrival of another person.

“Dr. Oh, what a pleasant surprise.” It was Dr. Kim Jongdae from the Neurosurgery Department. “How are you feeling now? Does your head still hurt?”

“No. I feel much better now compared to last night,” Sehun replies. “Thank you for all your help, Dr. Kim. Without you, I probably would’ve died.”

“Psh. Don’t say that. The injury wasn’t even that serious. It was just the blood loss that somewhat made it more dangerous but you pulled through. You are one strong man, might I say so myself.” Jongdae instructs the nurse to note down a few things on her clipboard. “You can opt to rest here for one more day if you wish. Christmas Eve is still 4 days from now, anyway. I’ll make sure you won’t miss out on the occasion.”

But Sehun just shakes his head.

“No. I think I’m good to go,” he says with finality while fidgeting with his hospital bracelet. A smile was on his face as he thought about his quick discharge and the way his fingers seemed to still tingle with the warmth left behind by a certain someone’s touch.

Sehun knows what he saw early that morning was not a dream. And his feet were already itching to come and find him, to hear Lu Han say the words he failed to tell Sehun that night. He doesn’t know where the sudden stream of confidence is coming from but his heart is simply screaming at him that Lu Han felt the same way.

As he dragged his IV pole with him and set out to pad towards room 520, however, Sehun missed the sadness glistening in his colleague’s eyes as they watched him leave the room.

_“Appa, where Hun going?”_

_“_ Sshh _,”_ hushed Chanyeol to his ever-curious son. They watched Sehun’s broad back disappear inside the elevator before glancing at each other and realizing they all had the same melancholic looks on their faces. It was Kyungsoo who mustered the courage to answer Yuan’s curiosity.

“Hun-hyung is just going to talk to someone important, Yuan-ie,” he replies. Yena gives her smaller father a confused look as she held tightly onto her Vixen plushie. “Will you babies make a quiet wish to Santa for Hun-hyung?”

“For Hun-oppa? Why?”

Kyungsoo smiles sadly.

“Because Hun-hyung just got hurt so we should tell Santa to take care of him.”

~~~

“Shouldn’t you at least talk to him one last time, _ge_? He literally just risked his life for you. It doesn’t sit right with me that you’re letting things between you two end like this.”

Lu Han coldly stares at Zitao as he stops packing their stuff. His eyes, although red and puffy, were rid of emotion as he muttered his next words with marked finality. “We’ve already talked about this, Tao. There’s nothing left for Sehun and I to talk about. I already visited him last night, I think that’s enough of a show of my gratitude and farewell.”

“It’s not about the gratitude, Lu- _ge_! And you know that yourself.” But Lu Han just resumed stuffing their things down the suitcase, acting as if Zitao’s words were air to him. “Oh my god. No, I can’t take seeing you be stupid like this. I’m going out, don’t bother following me!” And then the barely recovered male was wheeling himself out of the room, slamming the door shut at Lu Han’s unmoving figure.

Lu Han felt his eyes start to pathetically well up again. He wipes them away just as quickly however when he realized it was almost noon. He knew he had to hurry packing all their stuff up and get the papers signed for Zitao’s discharge as quick as he can. He can’t afford anymore to bump into _him_. From what he’s overheard, the latter won’t be waking up until past 1 in the afternoon due to the effect of the small dose of tranquilizing medicine they injected into his IV to help him sleep better.

Within minutes, Lu Han zips up the suitcase and places it down on the floor. As he moves to turn off the lights, he roams his wistful eyes one last time around the room: the obnoxious welcome banner remained hung on the wall, the decorations were still dangling from the ceiling, and the mini-hot pink Christmas tree laid untouched atop the bedside table.

Lu Han may have been displeased with everything about the room during their first few days of staying, but now as they prepare to leave, he couldn’t help but admit that he would surely miss the place… and all the other memories that he and Zitao had formed in it courtesy of other hospital staff, the kids in the ward, and of course _Oh Sehun_.

Sighing, Lu Han fumbles with his jacket the same time he heard Zitao slide the door open.

“You done sulking?” he muttered monotonously as he worked on hooking the zipper up.

He was expecting Zitao to reply with his usual random grumbling but was surely not prepared to hear a voice he was very much _familiar_ with. There was pain laced altogether with the timbre of his voice as Lu Han froze from where he stood and watched long, delicate fingers zip up his jacket for him. He follows the hand as it finishes zipping up just right below his chin.

Lu Han looks up and their eyes meet hauntingly.

“Is it true?” he whispered softly, hands falling to his sides as his pale handsome features contorted into sadness. “Were you really planning to leave me without saying anything?”

“Sehun…”

But Sehun just shakes his head before gently pushing him inside the room as he slid the door close behind them. Lu Han had no other choice but to give in as he flashed the other the most emotionless face he could muster, taking care not to show how glad he was that the latter was finally awake and seemed to be completely fine. “Lu Han… _Sweetcheeks_ , I don’t understand – ”

“Stop calling me that. I hate it."

“ _But –_ “

“Why are you here, _Dr. Oh_?” Lu Han had cut him off coldly. “The nurse said you won’t be awake until later afternoon.”

Sehun frowned when realization dawned upon him. “…So you really were planning to leave while I was asleep? Without even saying goodbye nor telling me anything?” The younger’s face was filled with so much hurt it took every bit of Lu Han’s willpower to restrain himself from running to his arms and murmuring a thousand apologies. “Did I do something wrong, Lu Han? Please tell me, I don’t want us to part ways like this."

He shrugs off Sehun's hold on his arm. "There’s nothing wrong. Tao has simply recovered and Dr. Wu said he’s now well enough to get discharged. I packed all our things simply because we’re leaving. That's it."

“You know that’s not everything,” Sehun argued, brows furrowed as he grew agitated by the second. “You won’t be planning to leave wordlessly if that’s all there is to it. I know you’re not that type of person, Lu Han. You would at least make time to bid farewell to the kids... And to me.”

“I did say goodbye to them, Sehun. I gave them their presents, didn’t I?”

_“Then what about mine?”_

Lu Han stilled.

“What about me then, Lu Han? You never got to give me my present.” Sehun looked so tired and sad as his eyes shone with the last spark of hope he had in his body. “I told you I like you, didn’t I? I hope you didn’t forget. All I want is for you to be honest with me.” The taller male reaches for his small, calloused hands and squeezes them comfortingly it brings back Lu Han to that one time they walked the cold streets and held hands beneath the pockets of Sehun’s coat.

“Lu Han, do you feel the same way for me?”

_‘I do,’_ Lu Han wanted to scream so badly. _‘I do feel the same way. I like you too, Oh Sehun.’_

But as he gazed back onto the other’s hopeful eyes, the curve of his nose, his pale dusted cheeks, quivering lips, and basically Sehun in his entirety as a brilliant pediatrician and apparent heir to a family of equally magnanimous people, it felt as if they reflected unto Lu Han the reality that his answer actually came with more _sorry’s_ rather than professions of how much he loved the other.

_‘I like you too Sehun-ah,_

_but I’m sorry you had to get hurt because of me. I’m sorry you had to deal with disappointment from your colleagues and even your own mother for associating yourself with someone like me. I’m sorry you had to fall for me when I don’t even know why it had to be me nor am I able to fathom how I managed to earn the littlest ounce of your attention. I’m sorry for always pushing you away. I’m sorry for being ungrateful till the end. I’m sorry I’m going to be selfish again. I’m sorry I don’t deserve you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry -’_

" **I apologize Dr. Oh** ," Lu Han says, eyes emptied of any sort of affection as he allowed his guilt and insecurities to take over and cloud his judgment. " **I don't feel the same way. I only see you as a dear friend to whom I owe my biggest gratitude and I hope it stays that way between us.”**

_‘This is for the best,’_ Lu Han repeatedly tries to convince himself even though there was a small selfish part of him deep down that wished Sehun wouldn’t just accept things like this. A small part of him wished that Sehun would be his usual persistent self – never knowing when to stop nor taking ‘no’ for an answer the first time.

Cold, brewing silence wrapped them both for a good few seconds. And for a moment there, it felt as if they were conversing through their eyes even though both appeared to be devoid of emotions. Because that was exactly what they both felt at that moment: _numbed by the pain that even the frostbites brought about by the coldest of winters probably still won’t be at par to it._

After a long moment of silence, Sehun finally releases Lu Han’s hand. The latter braces himself to shut down Sehun’s attempts to convince him otherwise. But surprisingly, none of that happens.

Instead, Sehun had simply let out a shaky breath before smiling at him.

"... _I see."_ The doctor calmly said, slowly backing away and eyes unreadable for a second before it was quickly replaced with the usual twinkle he plasters on whenever he deals with his patients. He reaches out to gently pat Lu Han’s hair, instigating the smaller to look at him with confusion swimming in his orbs.

"Thank you for being honest with me,” Sehun says, not a hint of being upset present in his voice as the warmth of his touch slowly left Lu Han. He flashes the other one last genuine parting smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and make them curve into their signature crescents. “I guess there's nothing I can do if you really don't feel the same. I will stop pursuing you from now on."

Doctors oftentimes play god, but perhaps one thing they will never be able to truly change no matter their prowess of the human body was that of the complexity of human emotions. Sehun finally understood that now. His dork of a cousin named Yifan indeed had a point; and it was solely because of the way Lu Han had attested to it by indifferently looking back at him with those big, brown orbs.

"It's going to be even colder today. Make sure to wear warm clothes, okay?" The young doctor pats down the creases on Lu Han’s jacket with gentle hands. "Happy holidays, _sweetch_ \- I mean, Han. Lu Han." Sehun grins sheepishly, rubbing his nape out of embarrassment. "Take care always, alright? Don't get hurt anymore."

And then he turned back and walked away silently, his broad shoulders disappearing behind the sliding doors as he left behind a piece of his broken heart in the hands of the skater boy whom he fell in love with that one fateful Christmas night.

_‘Maybe we just stumbled upon each other again due to chance._

_But there was no other special meaning to it –_

_Take care, Xiao Lu Han._

_~~I love you.~~ _ _Merry Christmas,’_

_O.S.H._


	6. Chapter 6

**VI: And you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me**

**And at every table, I’ll save you a seat, lover**

* * *

It had been a stupid decision and Lu Han knew that very well.

When Sehun bade him goodbye with those tired eyes and half-hearted smile, ruffled his hair one last time and even reminded him to keep warm for the upcoming holidays, it felt as if Lu Han’s heart had frozen over and he suddenly could not breathe. It was comically ironic to admit that he actually felt more hurt despite being the one to do the rejecting and not the other way around.

He could not, with every fiber of his being, understand how Sehun managed to handle the heartbreak so well.

Because Lu Han obviously did not, and that is now the reason why he has become such a wreck – drunk as fuck to his heart’s content as he downs his second bottle of booze to try and forget the emotionally taxing shithole he had stupidly dug for himself. Zitao is well on his way once more to slap him out of his misery. Lu Han finds it funny and almost borderline pitiful that the younger had to be here with him on a random skate park when he knows Zitao is pretty much better off resting or even preparing for the holidays he so dearly looks forward to every year.

“I said _fucking_ stop it already, Lu- _ge_. You’ve been miserable for three straight days, get a hold of yourself!”

“ _ZhsTao! *hic Come join me~ Let’s get *hic drunk and crazy!”_

Zitao then snatches the bottle from him, a frown marring the other’s face as he struggled to balance himself using his crutches. But Lu Han was not having any of it for he had simply flipped the other off and whipped out his skateboard beside him. The drunken male lets out a slurred _‘hiiiii~’_ at the sight of his precious board, the chipped off graffiti paint underneath it somewhat looking all suddenly interesting.

Lu Han hiccups as his eyes try to settle on the colors.

And then he remembers Sehun and his weird fashion sense. Sehun and his stupid purple stethoscope. Sehun and his silly dream of becoming a human crayon. Sehun and his frustratingly handsome face. Sehun, Sehun, _Sehun_ –

“I fucked up so bad didn’t I _,”_ Lu Han finally let out whilst he chuckled humorlessly. It took a while for Zitao’s disapproving glare to die down into one of pity as he realized that his _ge_ was no longer hiccupping because of the booze. The clear fluids hanging across his eyelashes had been indicative of something else.

“I wonder _*hic_ what w’uv happen if I * _hic_ told him I liked him too. How _*hic_ would his mom react? _”_ The skateboard landed on the ground with a loud thump. Lu Han’s legs wobbled as he tried to prop his feet onto it, eyes blinking drunkenly as a grunt escapes his mouth because _‘stupid fucking skateboard why is there so many of you?!’_

“I shu’d go shee him _–“_ Zitao reaches out to pull Lu Han back down on the bench. He struggles for a while because _damn was Lu Han some stubborn little shit_ and it didn’t exactly help that he was in crutches either. _“_ Let go’f me! _*hic_ I want to shee _*hic_ Sehun _*hic!_ Let me go to him! _”_ slurred Lu Han, his sobs pathetically echoing throughout the empty skate park as he fought against Zitao’s restraints.

“Lu- _ge_ , stop it! Just stop, okay?! Let’s just go home now! Please…”

Lu Han’s eyes welled up with more tears of anger and frustration as he refused to listen to Zitao’s words. By then, his words had already become a jumbled mess, transforming into a redundant mix of _‘Sehun I’m sorry’_ s and _‘I like him too but I don’t deserve him’_. Zitao had to fight back a sob as he watched Lu Han regress to a hauntingly familiar miserable soul right in front of his eyes.

The last time his dear _ge_ had been so devastated like this was already years ago, and Zitao did not like how everything seems to be happening all over again.

He had barely managed to help Lu Han get back up on his feet back then. Zitao freed Lu Han from the shackles of his insecurities and unfulfilled dreams by opening to him a world where there was so much adrenaline that can help make him forget – that can help tell him that he mattered and that his worth was not based alone on his failure to achieve his dream of becoming a physical therapist.

As shallow as it may sound, skateboarding gave Lu Han a new purpose in life.

Zitao just wasn’t so sure if it would still be enough this time.

_Even more so when a dark figment of the past suddenly appears before them._

_“What a pitiful sight for a reunion. You look so horrible, little Lu.”_ The person had fake concern written all over his pierced face as he clicked his tongue at Lu Han’s drunken state. When Lu Han snapped out of his hazy state and recognized their uninvited visitor however, his body had gone rigid from shock and Zitao knew the way the two glared each other down signaled a meeting that wasn’t going to end peacefully.

He curses himself inwardly for not realizing sooner that this skate park was actually _his_ turf.

His. _Wang Kai’s_ – their ex-crewmate who knew how to play the game dirty because of his gangster-like tendencies; the irremovable thick thorn in Tao’s chest, the biggest bane of their existence and yet ironically,

_also Lu Han’s ex-lover_ ; _the one who unfortunately gave him all his firsts when he had still been a naïve skater boy who mistook a deranged relationship for true love_.

By the looks of it, the guy didn’t look too pleased to see them lounging around his area, as seen with the way he even brought some of his men who were sporting metal bats and hockey sticks. Zitao’s hold on Lu Han tightens as he starts to slowly back them away. He needed to get them both out of there before things go ugly, although he was already fearing for his life as he was handicapped by his crutches.

“Lu Han _sweetheart_ , have you finally come to visit me? Because that would be so thoughtful of you.” The words were spat so sickeningly sweet it almost made Lu Han barf all the booze he had ingested. The alcohol was still very much rendering his limbs putty but his fists were screaming at him to take his frustrations out and the bastard in front of him seemed to be just the perfect candidate.

The sane part of Lu Han thankfully was keeping him under control.

“W-we don’t want any trouble. In fact, we were just about to take our leave,” explained Zitao.

Wang Kai’s eye twitched at that before he feigned a disgusting pout. “Leaving already? But I haven’t even gotten a decent greeting yet.” His hand was as fast as lightning as it suddenly found purchase on Lu Han’s face, squeezing it so harshly it makes the other wince in pain. Zitao grew alarmed by then as he tried to pull his _ge_ away.

“Get your hands off him!”

The harsh hold on his jaw made Lu Han snap out of his drunken stupor as his eyes glinted with both fear and imminent danger. He attempts to pry the hand off him but his limbs were far too weakened by the alcohol he could only grunt and spit out a hoarse _‘fuck you, let go of me’_ to which Wang Kai had simply let out a manic laugh.

“Oh my, did you hear that?!” the guy had exclaimed while chuckling, prompting his fellows behind him to laugh as well. Not long after, his eyes darkened as he turned back to Lu Han with a sinister smirk. “I see what that _boy toy doctor_ of yours had done to you. You’ve become even feistier to talk back to me now, huh.”

Lu Han’s eyes widened.

_Boy toy doctor…? It can’t be…_

Wang Kai smirks as one of his men reaches over to give him a metal bat. It glistens eerily against the warm glow of Christmas lights dangling from the park’s fences. He smirks as he holds up a certain part of the bat where a faint bloodstain could be seen.

Zitao gasps.

_“How’d he like my present for him by the way? Did it give him a good night’s sleep?”_

That was all it took for all of Lu Han to see nothing else but red as he threw his remaining rationality out the window.

_“LU-GE, NO!”_

~~~

When Lu Han came to, the first thing he registered was that it was already 5 pm of December 24th and that there was a stinging pain lingering on his left cheek. There were also the remnants of his bad hangover and the hazy memories of what he had done last night.

He sits up with a groan as he tries to steady his spinning vision. Everything is still unclear to him but he knows for sure that he wasn’t in his and Yixing’s shared apartment. The pillowcase bearing the familiar initials SNH had already been a clue. Lu Han massages the bridge of his nose as he tries to recall what had occurred right after he delivered a punch to Wang Kai’s face and got himself hit back in retaliation before blacking out.

He will make sure to come back and teach that devil a proper lesson next time.

But for now, that was only one among all his many other dilemmas. Because first and foremost, _why the hell did Zitao choose to bring him back to this goddamn hospital?_ He had made it a point to never come back in here again and now he’s right back at square one.

“Fuck…” Lu Han mutters groggily underneath his breath. Where was Zitao, even? He had to get out of here before fate decides once more to be a cunning bastard. He doesn’t even know what he should do if ever he bumps into Sehun again; although the likelihood that he’d crumble down to his knees and offer a thousand apologies on behalf of his unhinged ex-boyfriend was quite high.

“Finally awake, I see.” He flinches at the sound of the voice. When Lu Han turns to see his visitor, he couldn’t help but gape his mouth in shock. “You are one troublesome magnet for danger, aren’t you? I really fail to see what my son managed to find interesting about you.”

“P-President Seo…”

The woman doesn’t bother returning his greeting as she struts over instead to place some pills and a glass of water by the bedside table. “Drink this. It’ll help you with your hangover.”

“I.. but how…?”

“Your friend brought you here last night after you passed out from a street brawl,” Hyun-jin said sternly. “I happened to have passed by the ward and I took charge of tending to you. It was the least I could do. You two managed to identify my son’s offenders, after all.”

_Offenders?_

“I heard everything from your friend. He called the police that night and they had put that man and his fellow hooligans under probation for now.” _Wang Kai is in jail?_ “Tell me,” Hyun-jin says as she takes a seat right beside Lu Han’s bed. Her eyes were sharp and interrogative as they bore right onto his soul. “What was your relationship with that man? And why had he dared to hurt Sehun?”

Lu Han looks down in shame. “… He was my ex.” An incredulous scoff. “But it’s been years since we last talked to each other. I.. I don’t know how he knew Sehun. Sehun doesn’t know him either…” Lu Han lets out a deep exhale as he lets out the final important words. “ _I’m sorry for getting him involved in this._ ”

Hyun-jin didn’t speak for a while. A long, deafening silence filled the room as Lu Han shifted uncomfortably in his position and refused to meet her eyes. It was only when the quietness grew unbearable for both of them that Hyun-jin finally broke the ice.

"Sehun is busy finishing his last few months of residency before he leaves for the US...” Lu Han froze. “He has worked here for years now while keeping a low profile, his argument being that he wants to succeed in this field without any aid from his status. That son of mine has always been stubborn with what he wants and I’ve never once won against him because otherwise, he would go to his grandmother for help.”

She crosses her legs as a sigh escapes her red lips. “But you…” she rakes her eyes all over Lu Han’s pitiful form with disbelief. “Whatever you did or said to him four days ago, that was the only time I got to see him look so defeated.”

“I’m sorr – “

“You’re going to wear it out,” she scolded. “Stop apologizing every chance you get. It gets annoying.” She then stands up before making her way towards the door, a familiar orange clipboard in her hand as she bids Lu Han her parting words. “You better drink the painkillers before you leave this room. Once you’re done, fix yourself up. Your friend brought you a fresher pair of clothes.”

“But what about the payme –“

Hyun-jin holds up the clipboard as if to emphasize her point. Lu Han’s eyes creased in worry and she let out a snort at that. “Don’t mind it. I was the one who paid for your bills this time, not Sehun. But this will be the last time I will allow such philanthropy. My hospital is not a charity foundation.”

Lu Han bowed his head in gratitude despite the haziness still lingering in his system.

“Oh, but I’m not yet done with you,” Hyun-jin reminded before looking at him again sternly. “There is something else I wish to talk to you about. Aside from the conversation we had _that_ night…”

“I - I understand…”

“Good. I’ll see you by the restaurant downstairs then. Fairmont. Private room 7.”

And then she walked out primly with her red heels.

~~~

It turned out however that this Fairmont restaurant wasn’t just any ordinary diner spot.

Lu Han only had the chance to realize that upon entry and he had to keep his head bowed all the time because the place practically screamed high-class with its humongous crystal chandeliers, shiny metallic buffet tables, and staff and customers in general who respectively donned holiday-themed silk uniforms and designer suits and dresses.

It took every inch of Lu Han’s self-consciousness not to mind the stares that the people inside were giving him due to his rather average, day-to-day clothes. Not to mention, his face still looked a little bloated courtesy of the fistfight he had just survived last night.

If this had been part of Sehun’s mother’s plan to make Lu Han feel even smaller about himself, then she had damn well executed another job well done.

“Good evening, young sir. Do you have any reservations?”

Lu Han fought back the urge to muster a polite smile because of the huge possibility of it coming off as unnatural and instead stuttered out while fiddling with the pockets of his cargo pants: “Miss Seo Hyun-jin said she wants to see me… in Private Room 7?” The staff at the counter seemed to have gotten surprised by that, but it quickly reverted to her default smiling face as she ushered Lu Han towards a long warmly lit hallway.

“Right this way then, sir.”

The hallway was lined with intricately embossed double doors and Lu Han couldn’t help but roam his eyes around the place, especially when they finally stumbled in front of Private Room 7 which happened to be situated in front of the restaurant’s glass garden. The garden was rather small, but it was decorated with candy canes and the bonsai trees were adorned with silver teardrop lights. Lu Han only got to admire it for a brief while – _he appreciates it more than the reds and greens in the hospital_ _to be honest_ – before the staff’s voice beckoned for him to come over.

“I hope you enjoy your night, sir. Happy holidays.” He only gave back a thrift, awkward smile before pushing the door open.

Seo Hyun-jin had already been there waiting for him. She was still wearing her work clothes, minus the white coat. And she looked as if she had been expecting him for quite a while now. “I thought you wouldn’t show up. Have a seat, then.”

Lu Han gulps as he moves to sit by the chair she had offered to him. None of them spoke for a long while and the room suddenly felt too large and empty as Lu Han couldn’t quite figure out why she had even bothered to invite him here, when she could’ve just talked to him by a private corner of the hospital hallways again.

Lu Han fiddles with his fingers as he recalls their brief yet impactful conversation the night Sehun had been wheeled in to his private room for recovery.

“ _How can I be assured that you did not swindle my son into doing this for you? Paying for your bills and letting you strut inside the emergency ward for free however you like?”_ Sehun’s mother’s tone sounded offended that night as she held up the folder in front of Lu Han’s face. “ _No wonder there had been occasional slip-ups with the financial reports. It never occurred to me that the culprit would be none other than head nurse Kim, at that.”_

Lu Han panicked at the mention of Junmyeon and bowed multiple times with desperation in his eyes. “ _Please, ma’am. I- I can assure you I didn’t know anything about it. All this time, I have felt indebted and have simply been finding ways to repay my friend’s favors. I didn’t know Sehun had a hand in all this, either. I didn’t even know he was your son. I just -! Please don’t lay off Junmyeon. This job is all he has. I beg of you_. _”_

_“Should’ve thought about that before you started treating my hospital like a free-lying first-aid station. I don’t do philanthropy so easily.”_ Lu Han closed his eyes at the harshness in her voice. He knelt there before Seo Hyun-jin unmoving as he heard her let out a deep guttural exhale. _“And you haven’t answered my question earlier either.”_

Lu Han looks up to her from his position on the floor.

_“Who are you to Sehun?”_

Lu Han didn’t even think twice before answering in a sad tone.

_‘It… doesn’t matter anymore, ma’am. I know my place now.’_

Right that moment however, as Lu Han sat on one of the luxurious chairs of Fairmont and his eyes befell upon the newly arrived person who had just been ushered through the double doors, he wonders if he really knew where he belonged. And whether it was the right place to be at all.

“Lu Han?” Sehun whispered in shock, form all prim and regal in his dark-blue coat and leather shoes. His eyes were wide in surprise as he couldn’t quite understand why Lu Han was with his mother nor why the smaller had been invited in the first place to the Oh’s supposedly private family Christmas dinner.

And Lu Han himself was no better. He was shocked as well of course; but he had this sudden stupid urge to run straight to Sehun’s arms – where he knew deep down is where he truly belonged.

Their staring battle was cut off when Lu Han finally realized that Sehun did not arrive alone and that he had someone clinging to his arm for support: an old lady who seemed to be well past her prime but still looked healthy and even pleased as she laid her eyes on the prepared holiday feast.

“It is good to see you healthy and well, Hyun-jin.”

Seo Hyun-jin had let out a smirk at that. “Likewise, dear mother. Come now Sehun and let your grandma take a seat. She must’ve gotten tired from walking all the way here.”

“Oh please, I’m not yet that feeble!” The old lady harrumph-ed, holding onto Sehun’s arm as she was helped into her seat right in front of Hyun-jin. She plops down on the chair comfortably, oblivious to the way her grandson couldn’t keep his eyes off the skater boy who was situated on the chair right in front of his, before letting out another grin. “Ah. Christmas is really better when spent with family, is it not? I wonder what they have prepared for us tonight.”

“I can assure you that it won’t be a disappointment, mother.”

“ ‘Course I know that. You are Seo Hyun-jin after all. My ever-perfectionist daughter-in-law!” the old lady chuckled at her own remarks before her warm eyes finally settled upon Lu Han’s lost-looking and nervous form. They lock eyes and the smaller awkwardly gives her a bow.

“G-good evening.”

The old woman grins. “Good evening to you, too. What is your name?”

“…Xiao Lu Han.”

“Lovely name for a lovely-looking person, then. I’m Oh Sehee, Sehun’s grandmother and the former president of the hospital he works at. I presume you are Chinese?” Lu Han nods, looking down on the table napkin he had spread on his lap and trying his best to avoid Sehun’s stare that was internally boring a hole onto his face. “You are quite a shy little thing, aren’t you?”

Seo Hyun-jin cleared her throat at that, but kept her eyes nonetheless trained on the steak on her plate. “He is far from that, mother. You should’ve seen his face when he arrived last night at the emergency ward. He is quite the aggressive fist fighter, might I say so. And he did all that brawling in the middle of the winter, to boot.”

“You got into a fight?” Sehun’s voice sounded worried, but more so with a hint of anger and disappointment.

Lu Han had to feign ignorance at the obvious way the younger’s fist clenched upon hearing the news. He doesn’t know how he was supposed to add to the brewing conversation but it seems Sehun’s mother had been more than ready to do the job for him.

Hyun-jin begins nonchalantly slicing her steak without so much batting an eye towards her son. “He did and he got some minor scratches and bruises here and there,” she reported monotonously. “But all of that was worth it because at least your attacker had been caught and is now in jail.”

“Worth it?” Sehun bit back. “Lu Han got hurt. What of that was worth it?” There was an obvious restraint growing at the tone of Sehun's voice and Lu Han knew he had to butt in before things escalated more heatedly. Grandma Oh seemed to be bothered by the brewing tension between the mother and son as well.

“Sehun, it’s fine now, don’t worry,” Lu Han intervened, looking down on his plate the same time Sehun turned his attention towards him. “I’m okay now. Really. Nothing bad happened because your mo – I mean, Miss Seo tended to me.” It was awkward silence after that and Lu Han figured that perhaps it was time for him to get going. He doesn’t really know why Sehun’s mother bothered to bring him here in the first place.

Sighing, Lu Han folds back the table napkin and stands up, leaving his plate of steak untouched. “I should… probably go now. I wouldn’t want to intrude any further on your family dinner. Thank you nonetheless for having me here.” He gives them one last robotic bow before he bounded off with his heels, putting on deaf ears to Grandma Oh’s beckons for him to stay.

He stashes away the wistful look in Sehun’s eyes when he bid them farewell at the back of his mind.

As his bad luck would have it, the moment Lu Han made it into the front porch of the restaurant, it began to rain heavily and it didn’t help that it also came with snow thereby falling down as sleet on the cold streets of Seoul. The skater boy couldn’t help but curse underneath his breath.

He didn’t bring any umbrella with him.

Guess he needs to brave through the whole thing and risk getting sick just to get home tonight. He hopes Yixing at least whipped up some pumpkin soup for him back at their apartment because he would need awfully lots of warming up after this stupid attempt.

Lu Han grumbles out loud, breath coming out in puffs of cold smoke, as he hops one foot out of the restaurant’s roof.

He couldn’t get another foot to step out however when a hand haphazardly pulled him back for shelter. He yelped in a rather unmanly way as he stumbled back towards a firm chest.

Lu Han immediately turns to reprimand the person but is immediately stopped at the sight.

“ _Wh_ – Sehun?!”

“Don’t be reckless,” Sehun says, black umbrella in his hand as he whips out his phone to call on the valet. “The bus stop is far from here. You’d be drenched and shivering from head to toe by the time you get there. I’ll take you home.”

“There’s no need for tha – “

“I insist.” There was something about the way Sehun said those words that prompted Lu Han to give in. And it’s not like he could decline any further when the car had already pulled up to the driveway – a sleek Audi R7 bearing the plate number ‘OSH MD 94’. Lu Han’s jaw dropped open in shock, the reality that Sehun indeed comes from an affluent family of doctors only now sinking in.

“What are you still standing there for? Get in.”

Lu Han snapped out of his thoughts. He gulps as he nervously reaches for the car’s door handle, his guts somehow telling him that something eventful is about to happen tonight.

_‘No. No. Don’t be stupid. He’s just offering to help you get home. It’ll be fine. Sehun is just being thoughtful.’_

Cementing that resolve in his head, Lu Han makes a move to pull the back door open when it suddenly gets slammed back close. His eyes widened in shock when he realized that it was Sehun. “What - ?”

“Sit on the front. I’m not your driver,” were Sehun’s fairly thrift words and for a moment there, Lu Han saw anger flicker across the younger’s orbs.

“O-oh,” he squeaked out before reluctantly going for the shotgun seat. Lu Han then strapped himself in with the seatbelt, glancing at Sehun for a second and noticing that his jaw was clenched and he had an unusually tight grip on the steering wheel. Lu Han mulled over that sight for the rest of the ride as he busied himself with watching rain and snow fill the holiday-beaming streets.

_Was Sehun angry at him or something?_

~~~

The car ride back to Lu Han's apartment was awkward.

Aside from the whirring of the engine of Sehun's Audi and the occasional beeping of his automobile's navigation software, no other sound filled the crevices of the cramped vehicle ㅡ save, maybe, if Lu Han's thundering heartbeats were loud enough for Sehun to hear.

But that didn't seem to be the case.

Lu Han himself can attest to that as he sneaks a glance at the doctor's side profile, finding Sehun's eyes focused instead on the road as he changes lanes. He looked so serious that Lu Han almost couldn't recognize him. It was an expression very far from his usual sunshine-y demeanor; and that's when Lu Han realized that he had actually yet to thank the other for giving him a lift back home.

The words had stupidly stayed at the tip of his tongue as a result. Lu Han couldn’t seem to find the right moment to bring up a conversation – not when Sehun looked so closed off for some chit-chat and probably even had a storm of thoughts filling his head as he suddenly maneuvered the car to turn left instead of straight forward.

“… W-where are we going?” Lu Han mumbled, a tad bit confused and scared because this wasn’t the way back to his and Yixing’s shared apartment. Where on earth was Sehun planning to take him?

“Let’s talk,” came the firm reply as Sehun stepped harder on the gas pedal. The car roared to life and accelerated faster along the damp streets, almost taking Lu Han’s soul with it because he never expected Sehun to be quite the risky driver.

“But not here. I’m taking you to my apartment. There is something I want to show you.”

Lu Han didn’t dare argue any further.

~~~

Sehun’s apartment was all sleek and classy in strips of gray and white, but the place still held a homey feel to it due to the flowers decorating some bland corners. He had picture frames lining up the shelves in the living room, some picture books and toys, as well as thick rows of medicine journals arranged by volume on the upper part.

“Make yourself at home. I’ll just go take a bath,” Sehun said as he hung his coat on the rack. Lu Han only nodded stiffly, not moving from his spot in the middle of the living room as he fought off the shivers traveling down his damp form. They only shared one umbrella after they got out of the car after all.

Sehun seemed to have noticed that as he had let out a sigh. “Nevermind. You can go take a bath first, bathroom’s on the end of the hallway to the left. I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”

“I didn’t… bring any extra clothes.”

“…”

“Follow me.”

They enter what seemed to be Sehun’s walk-in closet and Lu Han takes that chance to scan through the shelves of picture frames. Somehow in every shot, Sehun sported a different hair color and Lu Han had to fight back a snort at that.

The last frame was of Sehun wearing his graduation robes, orange hair a stark contrast against the formal background, as he flashed the camera a soft smile. On his brooch’s pocket were the words: _‘Sehun Oh, College Scholar, Seoul National University-School of Medicine._ ’

“Will these ones fit you?” A deep interrogating voice broke him out of his thoughts. Sehun was holding up a pair of red and green checkered pajamas in his hands and Lu Han couldn’t help but frown as he took in the [ugly] mix of vibrant colors. Was Sehun planning to make him sleep over or something? Nonetheless, Lu Han takes the clothes from his hands.

“I guess these will do.” And it was not like he was in any position to complain any longer.

Sehun then offered for him to just use the bathroom located inside his bedroom before leaving for the kitchen to make them something to drink. Lu Han’s heart pounded against his chest as he nodded and strutted over to Sehun’s bedroom. The first thing he noted was that the bedsheets were a pristine white and that there was also a hanging shelf right above bed where a couple of plushies had been neatly displayed.

A full-body mirror was placed on the left side of the room. There was also a study table in the corner, a glass cabinet composed of another volume of medical books, and on one side of the wall was what seemed to look like an automatic fireplace decorated with Christmas ribbons and socks.

Lu Han didn’t dare satiate his growing curiosity as he bounded over to the bathroom and took a quick bath.

He was already in the middle of tying the bathrobe around himself, hair still damp and skin blushed red from the hot shower, when Lu Han realized one important and embarrassing thing: he had no extra underwear. Cursing underneath his breath, he goes to tiptoe out of the bathroom to retrieve his dirty pair of boxers – mentally cringing because he doesn’t really want to wear it again.

Should he ask Sehun if he had some spare underwear?

_‘No, that’d be embarrassing,’_ Lu Han sighed. He had no other choice but to retrieve his pants and look for his boxers stuck in the leg hole (he’s that messy when removing his clothes, that’s why). The only problem was that his clothes had disappeared from where he had left them, the fireplace had been mysteriously turned on, and there was a shadow shaped like a man-eating monster appearing to creep up from behind him based on the glow coming from the fire against the wal –

“AHHHHHH!” Lu Han shrieked loudly, stubbing his toe on the corner of the bed – _fuck, that hurt as hell!_ – as he turned and backed himself near one of the shelves. He grabs whatever object he could reach from the shelf and points it towards his attacker.

Which turned out to be a small puff of cloud gazing up at him with big sparkly eyes.

No, scratch that.

It was a dog. A white Bichon Frise, to be quite exact.

“What the hell…” Lu Han exhaled as he slowly let down his guard. Just then, hurried steps resound from outside the door and Sehun comes barging into the room.

“What? What happened?” he said, finding Lu Han slinked in the corner and – _oh_. “Vivi, how did you get in here?” he motions for the dog to come over and it does so obediently before offering its head for some pats. Sehun sighs as he gives his pet what it wants.

“…I - I didn’t know you had a dog,” Lu Han comments later on. Sehun then explains that maybe he didn’t notice Vivi earlier because the little thing likes to sleep in his closet and is not one to bark around strangers either. He was just about to add more when he suddenly grew red in the face upon looking at Lu Han and immediately turned away before standing up. “…What?”

“Your...” Sehun doesn’t continue and chooses to just point at Lu Han as if it would finish his words for him. Lu Han doesn’t understand the gesture at first until he finally looks down at himself. “Your bathrobe is a bit...”

Lu Han immediately grew red in the face when he realized that it was actually not just his nipples but even his tummy and v-line that almost showcased themselves right in front of Sehun’s face. He makes a move to tie it back up when he noticed that he still held onto whatever object he managed to grab earlier from the shelf. Lu Han grumbles as he turns to place it back but is stopped immediately in his tracks once he recognized what it was.

A patched-up snow globe.

But it wasn’t just any random one. It looked way too familiar to him. In fact, its details hit eerily close to home.

And when Lu Han looks down to confirm for himself, there indeed engraved on the bottom were his own initials. But how was it possible that it was here in Sehun’s room? It was _his_ snow globe – the one he had asked to be customized from the antique shop many years ago when he had still been hopeful of his dream to become a physical therapist. Lu Han remembers trying to forget about it completely and even throwing it away when he realized his dream had been too far-fetched and impossible.

Not to mention, it even got accidentally broken while he was trying to admire it one last time.

“ _Xiao Lu Han, registered physical therapist_ ,” came Sehun’s deep voice from behind him as he takes the snow globe from a shocked Lu Han’s hand and places it back on the shelf. Lu Han watches Sehun’s veiny hands glide across the mahogany of the shelf before it ends up on his shoulder, slowly trying to turn him so that they can face each other. “That was what those letters meant, right?”

Lu Han finally meets his eyes. “But… why do you have it?”

“Why do you think?” There was a certain glint in Sehun’s eyes as he allowed Lu Han to silently rake his features all over his face. Handsome, chiseled jaw, firm brows, perfectly sloped nose, thin lips, and dark hair. But those _eyes_ … After all this time, Lu Han thinks he has seen those eyes before.

And it takes him a minute more of scrutiny before he finally gasps in recognition.

“You… You’re that silver-haired dumbass who bumped into me back then!”

Sehun laughed dryly. “You really had to insert the ‘ _dumbass’_ , didn’t you…” to which Lu Han just smacks him on the chest, replying with a _‘shut up! You’re the reason why my snow globe broke!’_

“…Was that the thing you wanted to show me?” Lu Han asked after finally calming down from his outburst. Sehun just nods at him before finally flashing him a soft smile. Lu Han could feel himself breathe again at that. Thank god Sehun didn't seem to look so angry anymore.

“I just thought I should return it to you,” the younger explained. “ _Before I pack all my stuff in here and leave for the US_.” Sehun had let out those words in a soft agonizing manner while gently patting Lu Han’s damp hair. He failed to notice how the smaller had tensed so badly as he turned off the fireplace before bounding towards the door.

“Drinks are ready, by the way. Come by to the living room. Today’s a good day to sit by the fireplace and drink warm chocolate.” Sehun beckoned in his usual playful tone, finally disappearing behind the door as he skipped over to the kitchen counter. Lu Han meanwhile remained frozen on his spot as he stood there and took in Sehun’s words repeatedly inside his head.

_‘Before I leave for the US.’_

Sehun was leaving and Lu Han had been cruel enough to lie and break his heart.

He was leaving and Lu Han may probably never see him again.

_“Are you in love with my son?”_

_Lu Han couldn’t answer._

_Seo Hyun-jin had simply stared at his pitiful figure on the floor then, her dark eyes clouded in what looked to be disappointment._

_“Sehun is old enough to make decisions for himself. And I presume you are, too. You’re both adults capable of making your own choices,” she shifts on her legs as she tucks her hands inside the pockets of her white coat. “Now that my son’s in there hurt and unconscious after trying to protect you, I’ll let you decide on what you’re going to do next.”_

_“Do what you think will not disappoint me. What you think will benefit Sehun the most. I won’t stop you.”_

_Lu Han nodded and did make his own choice._

But after all that has happened, had it been the right decision all this time?

He sees Sehun flash him a concerned stare right across the hall, mugs of hot chocolate in his hand, as the young doctor mouthed to him whether there was something wrong and why he hadn’t gotten dressed yet.

“Lu Han?” Sehun calls worriedly. “Are you alright? Do you feel in pain or something?”

And that was all it took for Lu Han to screw the remaining bit of stubbornness in himself as he shook his head and ran over to Sehun, startling the younger and him wearing only a bathrobe be damned. He reaches for the other by the neck and tightly wraps his arms around him. Sehun almost slipped his hold on the mugs had the counter not been there to cushion the impact.

“… L-Lu Han? What’s wrong?”

_“…Don’t leave_ ,” the smaller murmured against the fabric of his clothes. Good thing Sehun had been paying adamant attention or else he would’ve missed what Lu Han was trying to say. “ _Don’t leave. Stay here.”_

“But I’m not going anywhere...? I’m still here, aren’t I?” Lu Han pulls away from the contact, frown marring his reddened face. Sehun’s face creased with worry. “H-hey, why are you crying?”

“Because you are such a dumbass.”

“What did I do n – _mmmph._ ”

Sehun must have been dreaming.

It couldn’t be real that Lu Han was kissing him. He had already been rejected and he chose to respect that, didn’t he? But as he stood there and took in more of Lu Han’s lips, he realized that it was very much real.

Lu Han was really pouring all his heart out to kiss him. The love of his life and the star of all his wet dreams ( _don’t tell Lu Han that!_ ) was kissing him so sweetly and eagerly it makes his chest bubble with love and happiness.

Sehun was just about to kiss him deeper and let the heat direct them to wherever it may lead to when Lu Han suddenly pulled away.

“If…” the skater boy pants against his quivering lips. “If I apologize for lying to you that day and told you right now that I also like you, would it change anything?” Lu Han bites his lip in nervousness and something awakens in Sehun as he fought off the urge to reclaim those lips with his own.

“ _Sehun, I like you too,_ ” Lu Han finally admits. “I don’t mean to be selfish. But if you really have to go away for the sake of your dreams, I just wanted you to know my real feelings before you leave.” His eyes were dazzling with tears as he met Sehun’s own. “ _Will you really go?_ _Don't I get a second chance, at least?”_

Sehun slowly brings a hand to swipe over Lu Han’s chin, across the scar on his bottom lip, and finally ending it with a caress on the fading bruise on his cheek. He doesn’t say anything as he lands another soft peck on the center of Lu Han’s mouth. Somehow, after the first time their lips met, Sehun finds himself not getting enough of it.

_He wanted more_. _And he wants more_.

“Sehun…?” Lu Han murmurs unsurely.

Sehun sighs as he grabs Lu Han by the waist, sneaky nimble fingers working to untie the loose knots of the latter’s bathrobe. He leans once more to snatch a kiss before whispering in his alluring bedroom voice against Lu Han’s swollen lips:

_“I don’t know, sweetcheeks. Why don’t we go ask Santa?”_


	7. Chapter 7

**VII: I take this magnetic force of a man**

**To be my lover**

* * *

The apartment's stone cold walls proved irrelevant against the heat of the moment currently transpiring between them both. Outside, the sleet had already begun raining down stronger than ever ㅡ filling the pavements with piles of the small ice crystal precipitates whilst people still continued dancing to the slow tunes of _‘Last Christmas’_ and _‘Santa Baby.’_

But while many others were busy celebrating their Christmas Eves, Lu Han on the other hand was preoccupied with Sehun's unrelenting lips molding against his ㅡ the younger's tongue exploring his cavern over and over again to the point that Lu Han almost loses his breath.

The skater boy's face was by now flushed a deep shade of red as he struggles to keep up with Sehun's ministrations, knees on either side of the other's hips and a shirtless Sehun in between his naked legs as they engage in heated lip-locking. Lu Han's hands tangle against Sehun's dark locks as he responds eagerly, gasping when he feels Sehun slowly ride up the bathrobe up to his tummy.

Sehun smiles amidst the kiss before reluctantly pulling away. A string of saliva visibly dribbles from their parted mouths as they gaze at each other. "What?" Lu Han whines, his slightly drenched hair covering his half-lidded eyes. Sehun just chuckles as brushes over Lu Han’s curly fringe.

"You are so beautiful," he says with a soft smile. "And I can’t believe you’re finally mine."

The faint glow coming from the fireplace only further accentuates the doctor's handsome visage, and Lu Han tries hard not to swoon and dive right for those inviting lips once more. Not to mention, Sehun was already half-naked ㅡ clad only in his unbuckled belt pants thus, exposing his well-defined chest, collarbones adorned with a gold necklace ( _Sehun said it was a family heirloom)_ , and rock-hard abs.

Finally realizing their intimate position, Lu Han starts to grow conscious as he fidgets underneath, reaching for the hem of the bathrobe and wrapping it back around his torso. Sehun notices this and he kisses the freckle just right above the skater boy's right eyebrow.

"What's wrong?"

Lu Han frowns, shoulders sagging as he remembers the forgotten mugs of hot chocolate on the tabletop. "The chocolate... has gone cold..." he says as-a-matter-of-factly. He doesn't even know how they went from him just wanting to admit his true feelings, to them suddenly getting all heated and excited that it quickly escalated into a heated make-out session. For all he knows, Sehun had just suddenly whipped him up his shoulder and began feasting on him on his bed. Heck, they haven't even made things official between them yet!

“And what was up with your attitude earlier, by the way?” Lu Han chided, an accusing glare directed towards the handsome doctor looming over his vulnerable frame – acting as if they aren’t about to have sex. “I thought you were mad at me or something. Your face was all grumpy throughout the whole drive.” Sehun just shrugged at that as he brought a hand underneath Lu Han’s knee and brought it atop his shoulder. Lu Han tried to pull away but of course Sehun wasn’t having it.

He had been deprived of this for so long, how could he not indulge in it?

He plants a kiss on the inside of Lu Han’s thigh, instigating a restrained moan from the other before he felt Lu Han gently slapping him away. Sehun just grins childishly before doing it again. “Seh – _ah!_ Stop it, you – _ngh._ A-Answer my question first!”

Pouting, he puts down Lu Han’s leg – _but that’s okay he’d leave kisses on the left one next_ – and heaves a deep sigh. He looks at Lu Han underneath him. “I was angry, okay,” Sehun admits. “Because I don’t know why my mom had put you in that awkward situation with my grandma. But more than anything else, I was also _jealous_.”

Lu Han raises a brow. “Jealous? Of what?”

Sehun’s fists clench unconsciously against the bedsheets. “Of that bastard who hurt me. Wang Kai, wasn’t it?” Lu Han nods weakly. “Mom told me he was also your ex-lover. That’s what prompted me to get out of there. I don’t know. I just wanted to see you.”

“… Why?”

Sehun’s face was now leaning closer towards his, probably to initiate another round of kissing. “Because I never really stopped loving you even if you already rejected me. Feelings don’t go away that fast, Xiao Lu. There’s always gonna be some sort of sequelae to it.” His eyes then zero in dangerously on Lu Han’s swollen lips. “Can I go back to kissing you now please?”

Lu Han snorts at him. “… _No_.”

“What? Why not?” Sehun whined.

“Excuse you, Dr. Oh. You haven’t even answered my question earlier yet,” Lu Han had sassed, loving the expression of defeat painting Sehun’s face. “ _’Go ask Santa’_ , seriously? He’s not even real. So do I get my second chance or not?” Lu Han crosses his arms over his robe as if to emphasize his point. _No further intimate touches until Sehun confirms that they are officially together._ Lu Han sure as hell does not want this to be a mere one-night stand!

But to his surprise, Sehun seemed to have found a loophole against his defenses when the latter just flashed him a dangerous grin. “What?” Lu Han squeaks out in a softer tone.

“Who told you Santa isn’t real? He is very much _real_ , sweetcheeks,” argued Sehun before pointing towards the full-body mirror on the left side of the room where their entire form – Lu Han lying vulnerably underneath Sehun – could be clearly seen. But that wasn’t even half of the embarrassing part of it.

Sehun had apparently decorated the upper corner of the mirror with a huge Santa Claus sticker, and the expression on its face looked like it had been surprised and was loving the view.

“What the hell,” Lu Han muttered, annoyed and immensely embarrassed as he observed his and Sehun’s position in the mirror and the way the Santa sticker seemed to look like it was some sort of voyeur sneaking up on them. “C-can you cover that up? I don’t like it.” The grin on Sehun’s face told Lu Han he was not going to have his request fulfilled, however.

“Santa says you can have your second chance,” Sehun begins to nose against the column of his neck, letting out satisfied hums in a low voice before ending it with a soft bite on his earlobe. Lu Han keens at the touch but immediately restrains himself from moaning out loud. “So now, I get to have my present.”

"What present..." Lu Han rasps out, one hand over his mouth to muffle the lewd sounds he couldn't help but make, while the other grasped tightly onto Sehun's bicep as he held onto the last bits of his sanity. "N-not there... you jerk.. it, _mmhh_.. tickles..!" he slaps Sehun by the shoulder which only causes the other to let out a breathy chuckle against his skin.

"Don't hold back your moans. I want to hear you.”

“I don’t– _hngh_! It’s embarrassing. Stop touching me there, you dumb - _Ah_! What are you doing?!”

Lu Han blushes from root to tip as he feels big, warm hands repeatedly fondle and cup his flat ass. He didn’t really give a shit about the fact that he lacked a booty, but now that he’s basically about to have sex – and with someone like Oh Sehun, at that – he couldn’t help but suddenly feel insecure. Sehun’s body looks as if it was sculpted by the gods: pale, smooth skin and taut flesh and muscles all at the right places. Lu Han’s body, on the other hand, was an abominable display. Pale, rough and dry, full of fading scars and bruises.

“Lu?”

He doesn’t even realize that he was already pathetically curling in on himself. Sehun notices this, and he gives Lu Han a small reassuring smile and a kiss to the forehead – the deed getting magnified as a shadow reflecting against the light coming from the fireplace. The gesture was so simple, yet it was enough to make the skater boy feel at ease.

“You’re beautiful. I want you to always remember that,” Sehun confesses, tipping Lu Han’s chin so that their eyes could meet. “And if you’d let me, I want to show you how much I love and adore everything about you…” The wait made Sehun feel anxious as he flicked across the emotions playing on Lu Han’s face.

But when Lu Han finally relaxed underneath his hold and nodded his head in a subtle manner, he no longer wastes time to quickly pull Lu Han in and show him just how much he means to him. “I’ll be gentle,” Sehun whispers, as he ghosts his fingers over the flaps of – technically _his_ – bathrobe, unwrapping Lu Han’s body like it was a Christmas present.

“Stop staring.”

Lu Han’s body wasn’t a smooth, blank canvas. It had muscles in some places, faded gashes here and there courtesy of his skateboarding hobbies and affinity for sports. But Sehun wouldn’t want to have it any other way. For him, they were symbols of who Lu Han was as a person and that was what made Sehun fall in love with him in the first place. He flutters his palm over the expanse of the skater boy’s torso, gently tracing every protruding muscle, bones, and ridges.

“You have a lovely pectoralis major, Xiao Lu.”

“Huh?”

Sehun just snickers as he continues traipsing southward. “Your rectus abdominis muscles are cute but firm. You don’t need to work on getting all buff. You look beautiful with your current shape.” Lu Han’s face was by now creased in confusion. “Do you know what the muscles in this part of your thighs are called?”

“… I - I know. Rectus femoris.”

Sehun smirks. “Good job, _baby_ ,” and then he sneaks further to another section of Lu Han’s thigh. “How about this one then?”

Lu Han’s face flushes red as he turns away and lets Sehun’s hands roam across his legs. “V- _Vastus_ lateralis… intermedius… Sartorius…” He hated how this entire gimmick was turning him on despite the nerdiness of it all. _Damn you Oh Sehun!_

Nonetheless, Lu Han opens his mouth to answer – letting his remaining knowledge as a frustrated physical therapist take hold of the game. When Sehun’s hand finally lands on the one muscled part of his pelvis that was dangerously near to his aching cock, he lets out a squeak of “ _Pectineus_ ” before immediately following it up with _‘Sehun, please just fuck me already!’_ but the young doctor simply shushes him into patience.

“Last one, Lu. I promise,” Sehun reminds him cheekily before groping his ass out of nowhere and making him gasp. “What about the muscles here, baby? What are they called?” he squeezes the right globe with his hand, making Lu Han squirm uncomfortably on the bedsheets.

“G-gluteus maximus…” Lu Han breathed out. Sehun smiles before finally straddling him and kissing him sloppily on the mouth.

“Correct,” he mutters against his lips. Lu Han was already hard and leaking beneath him and Sehun takes that chance to bring another hand to cup the other cheek of Lu Han’s flat ass. "But I prefer calling them _'sweetcheeks'_ in lay man's terms." 

"You... All this time, that's the reason why you called me that? What a pervert."

Sehun grins. "You love _this_ pervert." Then without warning, he dips a teasing finger against the skater boy’s pink fluttering hole, making Lu Han gasp as he finally had Sehun’s finger lodged inside him and slowly scissoring him open.

“Sehun!” Lu Han cries against the sheets. “ _Just fuck me already_.” To his dismay, Sehun merely goes behind him and maneuvers him onto his side, raising one of his legs up whilst still relentlessly fingering him. Lu Han cries out at the new angle his thighs began quivering in pleasure. He slumps on his arm as he lets Sehun do whatever he wants with his body.

“Lu Han,” Sehun whispers against his ear. “ _Sweetcheeks_ , open your eyes. You should see how beautiful you are right now.” And Lu Han does, fluttering his lashes open as instructed by Sehun. He gasps as he is welcomed by the sight of them facing the full-length mirror: he had one of his legs raised on his side courtesy of Sehun, while the younger’s other hand was busy preparing his asshole – the squelching sound of it all filling his ears lewdly. His cock was all red and angry against his tummy as it bounced back and forth from the sheer force of Sehun’s fingers.

Lu Han had his mouth hung open in pleasure as he hooks a finger underneath Sehun’s gold necklace and tugs it towards him. “Sehun…” he begs, turning his head sideways to steal open-mouthed kisses. “ _Ah, hnng!_ I’m going to cum s..oon.” _Fuck that creepy Santa Claus sticker on the mirror Lu Han is horny and he is going to get Sehun’s cock!_

“We wouldn’t want you to cum so early now, would we?” Sehun whispers with a grunt, finally removing his fingers drenched with Lu Han’s juices and replacing it with the head of his thick cock. Lu Han gulps as he feels it nudge against his asshole and Sehun seemed to have sensed his distress as he moves them back to missionary position.

“But uhm... Are you sure you want this?”

Lu Han, although red-faced and practically panting from the foreplay, actually found the strength to roll his eyes. “You just finished getting your fingers in me earlier. Are you seriously asking me now if I want this? You’re unbelievable!”

Sehun grins sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I’m just making sure you don’t feel forced into this.”

“I’m not!”

“Then, may I proceed to making love to you now?”

“Sehun, just get in me already I swear to go – _AHH! Fuck!_ ”

“S-Sorry, did that hurt? Should I pull out?”

Lu Han’s eyes well up with frustrated tears. “You fucking dumbass, at least warn me before you push in to the hilt!” he scolded, legs quivering as his insides slowly began to adjust to Sehun’s size. “Fuck… you’re _huge_ ,” Lu Han moaned, chest heaving up and down as he tries to accommodate more of Sehun.

"But Lu," Sehun says worriedly. "That's not even all of it yet. _I haven't gone all the way to the hilt, actually_." 

"WHAT"

**_You. Have. Got. To. Be._ _Fucking_. _Kidding. Him._**

Lu Han sniffles as he props himself on his elbows. He looks down between his legs, to the spot where Sehun and he are connected and true enough, Sehun wasn't lying. His dick was barely nuzzled all the way in. It was only halfway inside Lu Han's love hole, and it seems it was only the head that Sehun managed to pop in. Zitao hadn't been wrong with his judgment regarding Sehun's _package_ , after all.

Seriously, how did Oh Sehun manage to strut about the hospital looking like an overgrown child with his silly candies and purple stethoscope when he actually had such a _huge dick_ lurking underneath his trousers and in between his legs?!

Lu Han is pretty much convinced he was going to get the _injection_ of his life time from it.

"Oh my god..." he breathes out before gazing up at Sehun with trembling eyes. For a moment there, Sehun looked like he was about to pull out because of the fear coating Lu Han's face. He can always just settle for cuddling tonight.

But that soon proved to be a misunderstood notion because Lu Han had instead plopped back down and got himself comfortable on the bed, spreading his milky legs further to give Sehun more space. There was still hesitance in his voice as he spoke. "Just... you better be gentle, okay?" Sehun blinks in surprise. "I d-don't need Yixing nor Zitao sending me malicious stares tomorrow. You've already left lots of marks on my neck, by the way!"

"So... uh... what would you like me to do..?" Sehun replied unsurely.

Lu Han hides his reddened face underneath his arms as he whispers out quietly: " _ **I want it."**_ He then peeks shyly at Sehun, his own member leaking precum atop his tummy. _**"I want you to fuck me**_ **."**

And that was all Sehun needed to hear.

He beams at the smaller male who had his legs spread open for him before bending down to plant a light kiss on his chest. "Lu Han, I don't fuck," he clarifies with a grin. "I make love. And I will do it only with you every chance I get from now on." Rolling his eyes, Lu Han inserts a finger on the dangling edge of his gold necklace and pulls Sehun's face closer to his.

"You talk too much. Just hurry and get to work," he scolds before letting their lips meet in a deep and sensual kiss. Sehun takes that chance to insert his tongue into Lu Han's mouth, exploring every inch of him until Lu Han could no longer think about the impending pain in his lower bottom. Once Lu Han got pre-occupied with the kiss, Sehun then used that chance to nudge his cock all the way in, swallowing the smaller's cry as Lu Han felt himself get breached in one swift motion. 

Sehun wipes a lone tear from the corner of Lu Han's eye as he pulls away from the kiss. "You okay?" he murmurs worriedly, biting his lip as he resisted the urge to start pistoning into the heat tightly wrapped around his cock. "Breathe, sweetcheeks. It's okay. It's just me. It's all the way in now."

"You think I don't know that?" Lu Han had hissed. He was so full of everything that was Sehun that he's pretty sure if he arches his back, Sehun's dick would outline against his lower tummy. That was just how huge it felt inside him; and Lu Han is surprised it actually fit. Or maybe he just has a really petite and highly adaptable frame in the first place ( _Lu Han would not admit that to himself of course._ )

The first cant of Sehun's hips into his, Lu Han felt as if the world had tilted. And then it began happening over and over again until he was a moaning pile of mess on the bed. 

" _O-oh fuck_ "

" _Lu Han, you're so tight."_

_"Ah! Ah! Sehun, oh sh -! Ahh, nng - !"_

Sehun was grunting at the heat and tightness of it all. Lu Han didn’t know hearing the other curse from pleasure as he fucks into him would be his next favorite thing to hear the most in the entire world. _"Shit, Lu Han!"_

_"Sehun! I can't - ah! Fuck! Ah!"_

Sehun moves to hold Lu Han by the waist and starts dragging his body down to his cock. His thrusts start to pick up speed and his dick scrapes Lu Han's insides in all the right places it was difficult not to moan and scream at every movement. Lu Han feels like a rag doll with liquified limbs as he let Sehun maneuver his body however he likes. He was probably crying already at how good everything felt.

" _Lu Han, I'm close."_

Sehun looked so sweaty and hot above him Lu Han couldn't help but pull him down for a kiss, his hips unrelentingly pounding into Lu Han's ass he seeks his release. They lock eyes as they chase their highs, fingers interlaced tightly against the sheets as Sehun worked to bring them to their edges. By then, Lu Han was an incoherent mess of 'oh's and 'ah's underneath and when he feels the familiar knot coiling in his stomach, he unfolds and cums all over their torso as he kisses Sehun hard on the mouth before whispering amidst his moans: " _I love you."_

Sehun releases inside of him right after, responding tiredly in his blissed out state: _"I love you too_."

The mugs of hot chocolate ended up untouched till the very end.

But all was well because a certain child whisperer and cranky skater boy got to celebrate the merriest Christmas of their lives that night.

_[epilogue]_

_The ever-frigid December breeze has just started to permeate the air._

_Shops are starting to hustle to put up signs for winter sales, city parks are slowly being turned into trendy skating spots, and Lu Han is yet again aggressively barging through the doors of Seoul National Hospital’s emergency room, face distorted into both nervousness and frustration as he goes straight to the 4 th floor and comes knocking on room 412._

_From the corner of his eye, he manages to see Seo Hyun-jin along with her group of doctors and nurses flash him a hopeless smirk before mouthing a ‘good luck' and strutting off for rounds. Lu Han heaves a deep breath as he holds onto the small white box in his hands._

_A not-so-little gift for Sehun – his boyfriend of 2 years._

_He tries to ignore the reds and greens once more decorating his lover’s clinic the moment Sehun opened his door and smiled at him childishly; although it was pretty obvious the latter had just finished hectic rotations. “Hey,” Sehun greets and Lu Han hums back thriftily, heart drumming against his chest once he settled himself on one of the bean bags._

_“I missed you,” Sehun says, planting a quick kiss on his cheek. “What's up, by the way? I thought you were busy studying for your finals?”_

_Lu Han bites his lip as he whips out the small box. “I… there’s something I need to tell you.”_

_“Hm? What is this?” Sehun asks as he takes the box. “Is this an engagement ring? I should be the one proposing, though,” he pouted as he worked on untying the knots of the lace ribbon. Lu Han didn’t answer him._

_It’s not like there was a need to, anyway. Sehun was a well-versed doctor._

_He would know what that piece of paper with black and white blobs signifies and what the accompanying stick and its two vibrant lines stand for more than anyone else._

_The skater boy, now a diligent student who's working on his dream of becoming a physical therapist, blushes a bright pink as Sehun holds up the sonogram and pregnancy stick bearing clear, positive results. His mouth was agape in shock as he looked at his lover who was fidgeting in his seat._

_Lu Han bites his lip._

_“Sehun-ah, how would you feel to be an immediate father of three?”_

_Guess they will be bringing three little Sehuns and Lu Hans to the Oh’s annual Christmas dinner next year._

_And in the many more years to come from now on._

**[The End]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i can't believe i managed to reach more than 30k words that wasn't supposed to happen *throws myself off the cliff
> 
> kidding, hi to my fellow hunhan shippers and ofc to the mods who decided to push through with this fest  
> i really enjoyed working on this piece although i'm personally not satisfied with the ending. it's just that it had been sitting in my drafts for far too long so i figured i had to expound on it and share it with the remaining ppl on earth who ship sehun and luhan <3 we need all the fics we can get to keep this ship afloat!
> 
> belated merry christmas and happy new year, everyone. may this year be kinder to us all. :*
> 
> p.s. excuse the lame smut omfg i just felt like experimenting with my skills and i realized that i actually suck at it ??? therefore never again lmao im so sorry hunhan i have lambasted your reputation ;_;
> 
> (the title is lame i know but the 'heals' is intentional there are doctors in the story anyway lol)


End file.
